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Please stop the bullying

racha

By racha
in General Chin Wagging

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Suzy

Suzy

Posted
Posted
Now that would be quite the feat, getting certain people to post in that thread!:thumb_yello::wink2:

 

Looks like sparkly1 overcame her fear. :naughty:

 

We can but try! I do get very tired of the insinuations that we are less than welcoming there, when you and I both know the apples contain some of the sweetest yet most honest (in their opinions), MFCers there are.

So OL (and anyone else) if you want more honest conversation and less sycophantic slavering, the apples is the place for you!

Oh yes!

 

Yes, the apples are very welcoming. But they *do* slap you if you sycophantically slaver over anyone on that thread. I know, I tried.:mf_rosetinted::biggrin2:

 

I'm slightly bipolar. So my mood will change a hundred times a day. Besides...BS and Sara -we're Geminis, so we naturally posess that dichotomy.

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vixenbbw

vixenbbw

Posted
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Racha, just had a browse through your thread....it seems like there is a need for more positive thinking around here at the moment! I just started a new thread for positive stuff about Mika as I think there's very little of it around the site these days!

Hope you pop along some time.

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chickadee

chickadee

Posted
Posted
When I was a newbie I didn't like it when people threw in-jokes at me, maybe trying to have a laugh, and especially knowing I was a youngling and poor in English understanding... Not funny...:blink:

 

And another thing would be ignoring newbies and "not-so-popular" users like me and others in certain threads... even if what we say may be out of context :wink2:

 

I agree with what you are saying. I have to confess though that I sometimes don't reply to people simply cos I don't have anything to say to what they have said. Occasionally I actually have no clue what the person is talking about, and there are a few people on the forum who I persistently have no clue what they are talking about. Sometimes I'll ask for clarification, sometimes not.

 

And the flip side to it all I suppose is that people chat as they get to know you. To get to know you, you have to post. If someone is only here for the news on Mika and doesn't really want to post much, well, that's fine too. But I can't intuitively know everything that's going on in the brains of everybody else on the forum, I need them to post stuff.

 

 

Who said that?? :blink:

 

:naughty:

It happens to me too

 

To you?:shocked:

 

I imagine most of us have felt it at one time or another. I suppose it's how you deal with it that makes the difference.

 

 

 

I forgot to quote all the glitter stuff, but you just reminded me about one of the Aussies, who's really not a very big poster, but when she does post, she tends to write stuff like

 

*walks in and rolls in glitter* Hi everyone!

 

I think a bit of that kind of nonsense has been missing a bit lately.

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sariflor

sariflor

Posted
Posted

 

I'm slightly bipolar. So my mood will change a hundred times a day. Besides...BS and Sara -we're Geminis, so we naturally posess that dichotomy.

 

I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm bipolar:roftl:, but I certainly have a very quick "turnaround" for moods like you mention, hehehe..

 

And the flip side to it all I suppose is that people chat as they get to know you. To get to know you, you have to post. If someone is only here for the news on Mika and doesn't really want to post much, well, that's fine too. But I can't intuitively know everything that's going on in the brains of everybody else on the forum, I need them to post stuff.

 

I imagine most of us have felt it at one time or another. I suppose it's how you deal with it that makes the difference.

 

I totally agree with what you said, and I think that the clue (and wisest nugget) is at the end: it's how you deal with it that makes all the difference.

 

A bit like the psychology CBT techniques: it's all about managing your response mechanisms to certain situations, and it is certainly achievable.

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addicted2Mika

addicted2Mika

Posted
Posted
Hi everyone, I am a big advocate of tolerance, and although I have tried my best not to get involved, I feel I have no option but voice out my concern and open this thread.

 

There are many people here that I admire.. :wub2:

 

but there are some people here that are so overwhelmed with the drama.. which turned them into immature, abusive, and arrogant people. Maybe they are going through a “phase” – but in any case, their behavior should not be acceptable. I am not the confrontational type, but I have witnessed it happen a lot lately that I felt the need to open this thread.

 

I am a big fan of sarcasm and intelligent humor, but lately, I have noticed so many people have been using sarcasm and humor to mask bullying and picking on other MFCers. I am surprised that some threads are read by mods that contain offense humor (if you call that humor) and none of them interfered to calm people down. This is not about voicing out your opinion, it is about saying what needs to be said – in a civilized way.

 

I love hearing different points of view, and with every point of view – whether I agree with it or disagree – I have nothing but respect as long as it is voiced out appropriately.

 

Flashing your “knowledge” around newbies (am not referring to Mika info, am talking about making people feel like they are stupid), taking it for granted that you are more of a “senior” and “connected” MFCer just because you were registered earlier or have more friends in this forum does not reflect a “friendly” environment. Everyone should be equally important and have the same rights to express themselves.

 

If you have a college degree, then good for you... just don't make the young ones feel stupid cause they don't have your "knowledge". You have been here for more than a year, good for you, that does not make you a better fan or have more privileges than others. if someone posts something you disagree with, don't accuse them of being stupid and have idol worship "issues", don't attack people on a personal level (whether they are single moms or not - that is none of your business and definitely off limits)

 

 

Please remember, people come here for social networking, getting updates, and entertainment. Even if they voice out an opinion that we disagree with or has a harsh tone of voice, we should simply guide that person and make them understand that this tone of voice is not acceptable. What I have witnessed is a lot of aggression and lots and lots of unjustifiable drama but worst of all - bullying.

 

I enjoy reading posts by everyone here, from the 13 year old teenager, to the proud mothers, university students, to the career women... the reason why we are here is our admiration for music. We can choose to learn from each other, or advise each other, but that should be a choice that is given. Please feel free to voice out your point of view, but say it respectfully and when using humor, make sure it is not abusive.

 

Being rude is easy but also primitive and disgusting .. I understand that being humble and funny can be challenging for some, just please make the effort...

 

This does not reflect the overall atmosphere here (THANK GOD), but it is becoming an acceptable trend.

 

I hope I did not offend anyone - that is definitely not the intention here... I just want the overall atmosphere to go back to being "friendly"

 

 

I totally agree with you about everything. Im relatively new, everyone has been nice to me but there are those few who have been here a long time and feel superior! No offense to anyone! I love MFC and just wanna have fun here!:bleh:

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im_stuck_in_the_middle

im_stuck_in_the_middle

Posted
Posted
I agree with what you are saying. I have to confess though that I sometimes don't reply to people simply cos I don't have anything to say to what they have said. Occasionally I actually have no clue what the person is talking about, and there are a few people on the forum who I persistently have no clue what they are talking about. Sometimes I'll ask for clarification, sometimes not.
That's alright, I think. If the person doesn't ask a question back, and therefore doesn't answer, I don't get offended:wub2: Thanks CD!

 

And the flip side to it all I suppose is that people chat as they get to know you. To get to know you, you have to post. If someone is only here for the news on Mika and doesn't really want to post much, well, that's fine too. But I can't intuitively know everything that's going on in the brains of everybody else on the forum, I need them to post stuff.
Good post! So true!:thumb_yello:
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chickadee

chickadee

Posted
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I totally agree with what you said, and I think that the clue (and wisest nugget) is at the end: it's how you deal with it that makes all the difference.

 

A bit like the psychology CBT techniques: it's all about managing your response mechanisms to certain situations, and it is certainly achievable.

 

Sara, you'll have to clue me in here. What are the psychology CBT techniques please?

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babspanky

babspanky

Posted
Posted
I totally agree with you about everything. Im relatively new, everyone has been nice to me but there are those few who have been here a long time and feel superior! No offense to anyone! I love MFC and just wanna have fun here!:bleh:

 

Just a question. How do you know they feel superior? Perhaps you perceive them to be superior?

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Kelzy

Kelzy

Posted
Posted
Just a question. How do you know they feel superior? Perhaps you perceive them to be superior?

 

When I joined MFC in September, I was fully aware that there were members that had 9 months of MFC and Mika experience that I couldn't parallel. But, I didn't consider them superior because I don't consider myself inferior. I actually hid in the PPR's for the first 2 months until Soangel posted something in there. Not that I was nervous, but because I was getting to know this place. Being a newbie is like starting at a new school. You don't know all the ins and outs and secret handshakes.. But luckily there is a MFC FAQ thread, courtesy of these "been here longer" members that are trying to help everyone fit in. So, I'd recommend people make the most of it and then don't be afraid to ask questions.

I also don't consider myself more of a fan than someone who joined yesterday. Had Mika of gone through with the V Festivals I would be more of a dedicated fan, but my dedication wore thin with the transparent lies Australian fans received when it was canceled. I'm still a fan of his music, but he's rubbed me up the wrong way.( :naughty: ) And I don't think anyone has a right to tell me to leave MFC just because I don't "ZOMG LOVE MIKA!!111:mf_lustslow: unconditionally." My experience has been different to other peoples and I am not "under his spell" like some.

Sorry, I've rattled on.. But, my point was, there are different levels of fan dedication but I don't think when someone joined MFC should come into the equation. Any view of members being superior are most likely due to ones own awkwardness when making new friends..

 

haha, i am superior! not because i have been on the MFC for long, just cuz im kewl like dat :lmao:

 

 

hello all. *signs autographs*

 

lol.jk. decided to read up on wat i have missed.

 

*requests autograph* :bow:

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chickadee

chickadee

Posted
Posted
When I joined MFC in September, I was fully aware that there were members that had 9 months of MFC and Mika experience that I couldn't parallel. But, I didn't consider them superior because I don't consider myself inferior. I actually hid in the PPR's for the first 2 months until Soangel posted something in there. Not that I was nervous, but because I was getting to know this place. Being a newbie is like starting at a new school. You don't know all the ins and outs and secret handshakes.. But luckily there is a MFC FAQ thread, courtesy of these "been here longer" members that are trying to help everyone fit in. So, I'd recommend people make the most of it and then don't be afraid to ask questions.

I also don't consider myself more of a fan than someone who joined yesterday. Had Mika of gone through with the V Festivals I would be more of a dedicated fan, but my dedication wore thin with the transparent lies Australian fans received when it was canceled. I'm still a fan of his music, but he's rubbed me up the wrong way.( :naughty: ) And I don't think anyone has a right to tell me to leave MFC just because I don't "ZOMG LOVE MIKA!!111:mf_lustslow: unconditionally." My experience has been different to other peoples and I am not "under his spell" like some.

Sorry, I've rattled on.. But, my point was, there are different levels of fan dedication but I don't think when someone joined MFC should come into the equation. Any view of members being superior are most likely due to ones own awkwardness when making new friends..

 

 

 

*requests autograph* :bow:

 

He can rub me any way he likes!:wub2: (OK, you all know I don't feel like that about him. That's *mostly* just there for comic relief, although the thought has crossed my mind:fisch:)

 

Everybody's experiences will be different, that's true. I guess that's one of the things that's tricky on here sometimes, is trying to not come across as though just because our experiences are not the same, other peoples are somehow invalid (not saying that's what you're doing Kelz, I've just been thinking about it in light of our other conversation). And it goes for both the people who are extremely into Mika atm and those who are feeling somewhat disenfranchised and disillusioned. I have felt - not inferior- to those who have been here longer (and that's unusual for me, as i have ongoing self-esteem issues), but envious. I just wish I'd found this place earlier and been in on all of this right from the start.

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sienna

sienna

Posted
Posted
When I joined MFC in September, I was fully aware that there were members that had 9 months of MFC and Mika experience that I couldn't parallel. But, I didn't consider them superior because I don't consider myself inferior. I actually hid in the PPR's for the first 2 months until Soangel posted something in there. Not that I was nervous, but because I was getting to know this place. Being a newbie is like starting at a new school. You don't know all the ins and outs and secret handshakes.. But luckily there is a MFC FAQ thread, courtesy of these "been here longer" members that are trying to help everyone fit in. So, I'd recommend people make the most of it and then don't be afraid to ask questions.

I also don't consider myself more of a fan than someone who joined yesterday. Had Mika of gone through with the V Festivals I would be more of a dedicated fan, but my dedication wore thin with the transparent lies Australian fans received when it was canceled. I'm still a fan of his music, but he's rubbed me up the wrong way.( :naughty: ) And I don't think anyone has a right to tell me to leave MFC just because I don't "ZOMG LOVE MIKA!!111:mf_lustslow: unconditionally." My experience has been different to other peoples and I am not "under his spell" like some.

Sorry, I've rattled on.. But, my point was, there are different levels of fan dedication but I don't think when someone joined MFC should come into the equation. Any view of members being superior are most likely due to ones own awkwardness when making new friends..

 

 

I agree, especially on the highlighted part!

 

Thanks Kelsy for formulation this, I have thought about it since I read it yesterday, found the word superior unfair and strange but really didn’t know how to say it!

 

Being new, in any place, is also a big opportunity to learn something new!:thumb_yello:

 

 

haha, i am superior! not because i have been on the MFC for long, just cuz im kewl like dat :lmao:

 

 

hello all. *signs autographs*

 

 

I had to go and check if I had your autograph punkygal and I didn’t!:crybaby:

I have the autographs of 45 other MFCers though!:wub2:

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FREDDIESDOUBLE

FREDDIESDOUBLE

Posted
Posted
I totally agree with you about everything. Im relatively new, everyone has been nice to me but there are those few who have been here a long time and feel superior! No offense to anyone! I love MFC and just wanna have fun here!:bleh:

 

Interesting ....

 

I notice the people that have been here the longest tend to do all the welcomes and Birthday threads to make people feel wanted ....

 

Being here from day one and what that had turned us into is an adventure .. one I never fully expected , doesnt mean we are superior ....

 

How do you know people are like that without meeting them , the highest posters may be the most insecure people youve ever met

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Blue Sky

Blue Sky

Posted
Posted

Chikadee you are envious because you wished you'd joined sooner. I can be a little envious for the same reason, believe it or not, and I joined months before you!! (Just because I didn't pay attention to all the clues Mika was going to be great earlier!!). Plus I was afraid of posting on a fan club forum....I couldn't believe people were posting stuff like "Goodnight...catch you later" and all that chatty stuff...now I know why, but at the time it seemed weird to me, and not necessarily something I would do...now I eat my words of course.

 

Some people go through life not worrying if they stomp on other people's toes on the train. Others go through life doing everything possible to avoid someone else's toes. And there are some who inadvertently stand on toes and do not even realise it, and some who realise it later, and wished they'd realised sooner.

 

The ones who don't worry think the others worry too much and should chill. The ones who try to avoid hurt are the ones who say there is too much pushing/bullying. And the ones who inadvertently hurt sometimes need to be given either a gentle push or a massive shove to get off whoever's foot they are standing on.

 

And then there are those who just think common courtesy is worth protecting in principle, even if they haven't been stood on.

 

MFC reflects the behaviour of train commuters.:naughty:

 

 

Sorry I am just being silly tonight.....

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Suzy

Suzy

Posted
Posted

 

MFC reflects the behaviour of train commuters.:naughty:

 

 

Sorry I am just being silly tonight.....

 

 

And you would certainly know a thing or two about train commuters. In Tokyo I might add!440643-Not-so-crowded-train-I-m-not.jpg

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