I wish Mika were openly gay

[harlequeen]

That's not what people were saying - AT ALL. First of all Mika can't dance particularly well so he will never be labelled gay by anyone for his dancing skills (sorry Mika, not that I'm any better, just stating the facts )

 

Mika wasn't just wearing "fancy" clothes in the video, he was wearing things that no straight man would be caught dead in. Likes scarves with pink teapots knit into them.

 

I found it amusing that one of the people in the thread who were so vehemently protesting the gayness of the video had an avatar of Mika with a naked male doll in his mouth.

 

Many of the things that apparently appeal to Mika come across as very gay. Whether this is an accurate reflection of his sexual orientation is another matter altogether, but that doesn't change the fact that it's a reasonable expectation that people will label these things (and consequently him) gay.

 

Mika is as aware of this as anyone since he has been labelled gay since he was a child. He knew he was making a video that was going to come across as camp I'm quite sure. He is not a naive little lamb and no matter how much he or any of us would like to dispense with labels they are just part of our reality, at least at this moment in history. It's not the Regency period, it is 2009 and things that contravene the straight culture of 2009 are going to be labelled gay, by both straight and gay people.

 

 

 

No because it is obvious. I was saying to zoots the other day that Paolo Nutini reminds you that he's straight every 10 minutes. It comes up in his interviews, it permeates his songs. It's just part of his personality and anyone who has paid as much attention to him as we pay to Mika KNOWS he is straight. There is no question, no mystery.

 

When someone refuses to discuss their sexuality because they deem it irrelevant most people are going to take that as a cue that the sexuality orientation in question is something other than straight. Because straight people are not judged harshly for being straight it rarely occurs to anyone to attempt to mask it or avoid the subject.

 

Now Mika is not just some guy next door and because he is asked these questions in a very public way he could have other reasons for not providing answers.

 

Which brings us back to the topic...I felt in early 2007 that I would have liked Mika to dispense with the coyness and be up front. But over the following months I watched the press interest in him die off. By keeping his private life private he has managed to avoid the kind of attention and harassment that Amy Winehouse and Lily Allen have to deal with on a daily basis.

 

It is not incumbent upon Mika to be a role model for the gay community (as a gay man or as a straight man who is fearless about appearing gay). If this is what he needs to do to protect his life from turning into a circus then I fully support his stance.

 

I highlighted the sentence that I take offense in, seriously. Because it's just a cliche.

 

I don't know what Mika had in mind with the accessories used in the vid. He's the only one who can tell. But there is one thing he does not do: he does not put labels, because he does not deliver the other half of the equation by telling us whether he is gay or not. I have a immense respect for his approach to this.

 

So there is my question: why do we feel the urge to do this for him? Label things, manifesting cliches, instead of open-mindedness? Why do we need to point at the vid and say: no straight man would ever do that? It's not true, and it does sure not help teenagers to accept themselves, gay or straight.

 

Maybe it's because of the region I come from. Every year 1.5 million people in my home town are out in the streets dressed out in the most ridiculous outfits, just for fun, from age 1 to 100, all sexes, all sexualities, all classes. It's a community thing, not targeting any group. And I assure you, no straight man seriously fears wearing a tutu, angel wings or a soother as necklace. The weirder the better! LOL I even saw my grandfather in a minnie mouse outfit. Even if only for a short time every year, it's liberating and creates an air of open-mindedness that crosses over to everyday life. Also, it helped creating the environment to a active and open gay community. That's the spirit I would hope everyone could adopt, instead of putting gay-labels everywhere. With labels we enforce limits, instead of tearing them down.

 

Heck, even the ticket fairy on this forum was a man in a fairy outfit. Shall we discuss whether the avatar was chosen to transport gay vibes?

Edited August 12, 2009 by harlequeen

[Moonlightchild]

I agree with N. I'd rather he not be labeled!

 

and I'm hoping he's not really gay because then all his girl fans would be sad. jkjk.

I won't

[Neiobi]

I won't

 

Me either:dunno:

[Christine]

I highlighted the sentence that I take offense in, seriously. Because it's just a cliche.

 

It is a cliche because most people abide by it in their everyday lives. In countries like the UK it's a fact that most straight men will not wear pink teapot scarves because it will be labelled gay. It's just reality.

 

So there is my question: why do we feel the urge to do this for him? Label things, manifesting cliches, instead of open-mindedness?

 

We can pretend we live in a world without labels or we can discuss the reality of how the majority of people perceive things. Those perceptions are something Mika fans are confronted with constantly, whether they agree with them or not. I don't see how pretending they don't exist and shutting down threads (as was suggested earlier) is going to advance the cause of open mindedness either.

[allisonirene.]

I know it may sound selfish, but if Mika were to disclose his sexuality, I think he would create a very positive perception of gay men in the music industry.

 

However, I also like fact that he's comfortable enough with his sexuality that he's unbothered by what people think.

 

I just wouldn't want him to be constantly asked questions about it with supporters. Sure, it would give him more spotlight. But then he would be getting attention because of his sexuality rather than his music.

[EnFa]

It is a cliche because most people abide by it in their everyday lives. In countries like the UK it's a fact that most straight men will not wear pink teapot scarves because it will be labelled gay. It's just reality.

 

 

 

 

Mika already gets so much attention without having labelled himself, I can't see how it can get any worse.

[suzie]

Oh, and I have an old interview quite well fitted for this thread: (you'll probably all remember....!)

(edit: forgot...)

 

 

Excellent find! I did not remember such details.

 

It is pretty obvious he is not embarrassed at all by having been asked about sexuality or coming out and makes a clear difference between sexualising music and 'politically' sexualialising music, meaning to be referred to as a gay artist.

He says he appreciates what gay people, including some of his friends, did in the 80s (like gaining rights for their community etc...) but he does not see himself as someone who should be defined by the politics of his career as it the music he creates that matters.

 

..It's great that we found an appropriate and detailed quote from him to answer many questions asked previously. Just listen to it, I only did a short summary.

 

 

PS: He keeps surprising me about how intelligent and articulate he is

[racinghorse83]

I WISH that my brother would openly date his girlfriend

[lollipop_monkey]

I can see both sides to this.

 

On one hand, I understand that there are likely thousands of young men around the world struggling with a sexual orientation that is something-other-than-straight - and some of them may be Mika fans. And some of them would likely take some comfort in their own sexuality issues if they were to hear Mika openly admit to being gay.

 

But, for whatever reason(s), Mika has chosen not to talk about his sexuality. Which is, of course, his choice to make - he has a responsibility to look out for and stay true to himself, first and foremost.

 

So I suppose what I want for him is this: I want him to feel as though he's on firm, solid ground with his convictions about that. If he ever changes his position and decides to share that part of him with the world, I hope it's on his own terms, is a well thought out decision, and happens for the right reasons. I'd never want to see him forceably "outed", nor would I want to see a tabloid blood-sucking fest swarm him and whomever he admitted to being in a relationship with.

 

Ultimately, regardless of which way he swings, Mika obviously considers his sexuality to be very personal - and is quick to dismiss any prying interviewer who tries to make it his or her business. And so, I hope that Mika can stay true to his approach with that - but I also hope that it never causes problems, such as a relationship going sour because his partner can't stand Mika's "publicly single" act in the long-term. Sappy, but I just want him to be happy.

 

What's more, this man has always stated that he wants to keep his private life private. Even though this sounds a bit repetitive, most fans can't get the gist of his words.

 

If you open a thread on a "forbidden" topic, the thread will be deleted and its author banned for a certain amount of time. If you imply in a post that the artist is gay, no MFC tickets for you. Easy. Screw democracy!

I'm sorry, but I feel really involved in all this. If I were a performer and I had a fan club where people say that I'm asexual because I've been single for a long time, I would ban people from the forum. I'm not joking. And I would also have a very poor opinion of my own fans. I would feel hurt and disappointed.

I wish Mika knew how to order people around without feeling bad about it.

 

He's stated he'd like to keep his private life private - yes, this is a fact. However, he's also stated "anyone can label me, but I'm not willing to label myself." He's also said that anyone has a right to ask him about his sexuality, and he has the right to answer that question however he chooses. So based on that, I don't think it's some terrible sign of disrespect to consider the possibility that he might be gay. And we would never, ever ban someone or otherwise penalize him/her for simply having an opinion. To be honest, what rubs me the wrong way is the idea that suggesting Mika might be gay is an insult - as though being gay is a horrible thing, on par with drowning kittens and pushing down old ladies who are trying to cross the street.

 

Mika has never once implied that people are not allowed to have an opinion - just that he doesn't feel any need to verify their speculations one way or the other.

 

And if you were in his shoes, you'd ban people just for having an opinion? Wow. Remind me not to moderate your forum should you ever hit superstardom, it sounds awfully heavy-handed and tedious.

 

As for the WAG video - he's dancing around in his undies, groping himself, and wearing a very phallic-shaped hat - called "dickhead" - as an accessory. Most people, at least in North America - accurately or not - would call those things "gay".

Edited August 12, 2009 by lollipop_monkey

[AnnaMariaPetra]

Perhaps this funny Dutch vid from a tv-sketch show will lighten up this thread. (Or perhaps it won't and I'm going to be banned......)

 

It's my closet I'm not coming out!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0tUcW6SI1Y

 

(Mind you:these guys who made the vid (Koefnoen) are big Mika-fans themselves. They used almost the entire LICM-album for their sketches last year!)

[IngievV]

Perhaps this funny Dutch vid from a tv-sketch show will lighten up this thread. (Or perhaps it won't and I'm going to be banned......)

 

It's my closet I'm not coming out!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0tUcW6SI1Y

 

(Mind you:these guys who made the vid (Koefnoen) are big Mika-fans themselves. They used almost the entire LICM-album for their sketches last year!)

 

I love that sketch:naughty:

[inbar_assaf]

Perhaps this funny Dutch vid from a tv-sketch show will lighten up this thread. (Or perhaps it won't and I'm going to be banned......)

 

It's my closet I'm not coming out!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0tUcW6SI1Y

 

(Mind you:these guys who made the vid (Koefnoen) are big Mika-fans themselves. They used almost the entire LICM-album for their sketches last year!)

 

ha! that is absalout brill! Im laughing my eyes out () :roftl:

 

do these guys do more Mika things?

 

that- uh uh as in nuh uh not today, no no way- OKAY? that just gets me every single time

Edited August 12, 2009 by inbar_assaf

[SunshineGirl]

I can see both sides to this.

 

On one hand, I understand that there are likely thousands of young men around the world struggling with a sexual orientation that is something-other-than-straight - and some of them may be Mika fans. And some of them would likely take some comfort in their own sexuality issues if they were to hear Mika openly admit to being gay.

 

But, for whatever reason(s), Mika has chosen not to talk about his sexuality. Which is, of course, his choice to make - he has a responsibility to look out for and stay true to himself, first and foremost.

 

So I suppose what I want for him is this: I want him to feel as though he's on firm, solid ground with his convictions about that. If he ever changes his position and decides to share that part of him with the world, I hope it's on his own terms, is a well thought out decision, and happens for the right reasons. I'd never want to see him forceably "outed", nor would I want to see a tabloid blood-sucking fest swarm him and whomever he admitted to being in a relationship with.

 

Ultimately, regardless of which way he swings, Mika obviously considers his sexuality to be very personal - and is quick to dismiss any prying interviewer who tries to make it his or her business. And so, I hope that Mika can stay true to his approach with that - but I also hope that it never causes problems, such as a relationship going sour because his partner can't stand Mika's "publicly single" act in the long-term. Sappy, but I just want him to be happy.

 

My feelings exactly - I completely respect his wish not to disclose his sexuality, but I do think as time goes on, he may find it more difficult to keep this completely 'secret'.

 

It's one thing when you are seeing people casually and maybe only for brief encounters (shall we say), where you can be very discreet when you want/need to be, but if you ever wanted to become/became more seriously involved with someone and wanted a long-term relationship wouldn't it be an enormous strain to keep that partner completely 'under wraps'?

 

I, too, wonder if this might be something a partner might ultimately find very objectionable. This is not me therefore saying he has to tell everyone if he is gay or not; he should only do what he feels is right for himself - but I do just hope, for his sake, this stance doesn't cause more problems for him personally than it is trying to avoid, IYSWIM. Like you, Lollipop_Monkey, I also want him to be happy - I worry about him, soft as that may seem!!

[tiibet]

Oh, and I have an old interview quite well fitted for this thread: (you'll probably all remember....!)

(edit: forgot...)

 

 

 

 

PS: He keeps surprising me about how intelligent and articulate he is

 

I could spend my days listening to his old interviews. Actually, I'm just spending my day that way (yes, I seriously need a life ). He is very intelligent and that's one of the reasons he's such an interesting person.

 

Perhaps this funny Dutch vid from a tv-sketch show will lighten up this thread. (Or perhaps it won't and I'm going to be banned......)

 

It's my closet I'm not coming out!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0tUcW6SI1Y

 

(Mind you:these guys who made the vid (Koefnoen) are big Mika-fans themselves. They used almost the entire LICM-album for their sketches last year!)

 

That's hilarious I guess it's okay to laugh, Mika has great sense of humour

[AnnaMariaPetra]

ha! that is absalout brill! Im laughing my eyes out () :roftl:

 

do these guys do more Mika things?

 

that- uh uh as in nuh uh not today, no no way- OKAY? that just gets me every single time

 

No, they did a Mika-persiflage once, but they used his music as a background for their sketches. They imitate more artists though.

[Lil'Violet]

i'm not so good in expressing myself in english, so i hope to make sense..

 

all i would like to say is that mika has always spoken about finding the power to be yourself, to not change because others say so or because they mock you and so on.. (remember the explanation for writing gk e.g.)

yes it's hard, and he's lived this hard experience in first person

but look at him now! he's still fighting, but he did it!

it doesn't matter which sexual category he 'represents'! the only important thing imo is that he was a young guy with some problems, and he's succeeded in being himself as much as he could and in doing what he felt he was born for!

this is a GREAT rolemodel imo, perhaps the most important on earth!

you have to be brave and strong to do something like that!!

 

recently he talked about how important has been his mother in not letting him waste himself..

probably he's fragile, easy in loose the path or the contact with the reality, he's apparently really determined, but seems also to live in his own world

i think to him as a sort of a genius: brilliant in his art but with the head in the clouds as well..

so i think that as in the past he needed his mother's help to stay in the track, now perhaps he need to have a real and private life to survive and keep on doing his art..

 

then, i would like to quote this post 'cause i couldn't tell it better!!

 

I think sexuality is something that nobody can clearly classify, it may be subject to change during a person's life.

We all aren't only "black" or only "white", many of our personality's sides are "grey", it's human nature.

Some people are perfectly sure about their sexuality, some others not. It could be a simple matter of time or it could be a condition for life.

I consider that kind of "open sexuality" as an enrichment, it makes persons see things from both point of view and help people to be more understanding.

So, i appreciate Mika's behaviour: he doesn't make us believe that he's a "macho" as George Michael did for years before his outing.

I think he's sincere when he talks about his sexuality as a "grey zone".

I'm for outing, always. But if he doesn't made it yet it means that he doesn't think he must do it.

The most important thing is that he doesn't hide his supposed homosexuality as it was a dirty wrong thing. He shows us both sides of his personality and it must be enough for us.

 

yes, he's honest in showing the world all the sides of his personality, this may also be disorienting and perhaps it's the main reason of all the fuss.. but again, he's brave and strong in doing this!

don't you think it would be a lot easier for him just to choose an ordinary class (straight or gay) and go on?

nope, he choose to be himself, in all his complexity..

 

so my point is that he's a 'global' role model imo, and if anybody (gay or straight ppl) need one, then follow this!

 

 

 

edit:

forgot to say that i've never and never will ask someone for his/her sexual orientation..

first i'm too shy to make such a personal answer, and then why should i??

if we're friends, colleagues or if you're my favourite popstar, what difference would it make? no difference.

Edited August 12, 2009 by Lil'Violet

[harlequeen]

It is a cliche because most people abide by it in their everyday lives. In countries like the UK it's a fact that most straight men will not wear pink teapot scarves because it will be labelled gay. It's just reality.

 

 

 

We can pretend we live in a world without labels or we can discuss the reality of how the majority of people perceive things. Those perceptions are something Mika fans are confronted with constantly, whether they agree with them or not. I don't see how pretending they don't exist and shutting down threads (as was suggested earlier) is going to advance the cause of open mindedness either.

 

I would bet with you that in the UK most openly gay men do not wear pink teapot scarves too. It's a question of context to wear something like that, to straight and gay alike.

 

maybe you recall that guy?

http://sophieblackall.blogspot.com/2009/06/from-yesterdays-observer.html

 

just read the guys comment to it. I think we can safely assume he's not gay, having a girlfriend?

 

Blaming it on the world we live in is a lazy argument . The world we live in is not a third party, it's us. You and I on this forum do the labeling or refrain from it, not 'the world' or 'reality'. When Mika can spare us the labels, we can do too, if we chose to. We don't need to tell that pointing fingers and labeling happens everywhere. People know that, they are not stupid. The question is, do we shrug and give a damn and tell young people to just eat it or die?

 

It feels utterly wrong to me to discuss whether Mika should come out for the sake of gay teenagers when we help to it that they feel uncomfortable about themselves in the first place. I know that this is not anyones intention on here, but telling someone that nothing is wrong with being gay and at the same time kick everyone back in their boxes with 'no straight would ever wear/do this' does not do the trick.

 

Just for the record: I don't want this thread to be shut down, not for the sake of the board, and sure not for the sake of Mika, he is a grown up and has a clear view on things. It's a worthwhile discussion IMHO.

[Marilyn Mastin]

Same... I know this song is really going to touch me and that I'll probably want to go up on stage when sings it, face streaming with tears and want to bear hug him

I really DO think that is we listen to his songs we can get an idea of what Mika is like. I'm not simply talking about the gay thing, but about the Mika thing.

His songs talk a lot about him needing to be accepted for whom he is, and loved for whom he is.

 

Why don't you like me

Love love me

No hope, no love, no glory. no happy ending

Maybe love is what I need, but not your sympathy

I bet you can't erase my love.

 

His new songs have even more clues about whom Mika is. To me, he isn't gay or straight, he's Mika and he's completely unique.

[violet_sky]

I would bet with you that in the UK most openly gay men do not wear pink teapot scarves too. It's a question of context to wear something like that, to straight and gay alike.

 

maybe you recall that guy?

http://sophieblackall.blogspot.com/2009/06/from-yesterdays-observer.html

 

just read the guys comment to it. I think we can safely assume he's not gay, having a girlfriend?

 

It was blooming fantastic to see those guys in Berlin. Just now in that context I wonder why Sophie B put the gf between quote signs in her comment there. Label?

[suzie]

It was blooming fantastic to see those guys in Berlin. Just now in that context I wonder why Sophie B put the gf between quote signs in her comment there. Label?

 

The devil is in the details.

[harlequeen]

It was blooming fantastic to see those guys in Berlin. Just now in that context I wonder why Sophie B put the gf between quote signs in her comment there. Label?

 

 

 

maybe she was just referring to the girl dressed as boy since mellody linked this pic for her?

 

http://www.bilder-hochladen.net/files/big/awqc-w.jpg

 

(the pic is a bit big for the forum )

[violet_sky]

 

maybe she was just referring to the girl dressed as boy since mellody linked this pic for her?

 

http://www.bilder-hochladen.net/files/big/awqc-w.jpg

 

(the pic is a bit big for the forum )

 

Ah, yes, that's probably right. Any other reason would just have been bold.

[Kasia_xxx]

Long thread:biggrin2:

I soooo love Mika for not talking about his boy/girlfriends, all this stuff. For the public he clearly wants to remain a musician and it's really pointless to label his sexuality.

For me... I'd prefer him to be gay, to be honest, otherwise if he ever reveals his girlfriend I'd die of jealousy:boxed: (joking but I can already feel that stinging feeling in my heart)

Now, in many countries being/not being a gay is not a big deal at all but there are still places in the world (e.g. Poland where I'm from) where there are many singers/showbiz people who everybody knows they're gay but they themselves would never admit that in public to avoid all the unfair judgement and comments. So, as I now live in England, I think there would be no impact if Mika ever came out but back in Poland... I don't want him to be put on the gay artists shelf. He's just bigger than that and BIG, BIG thanks to him for not speaking openly about his sexuality (but still the less he talks, the more people wonder - life...)

[CazGirl]

I really DO think that is we listen to his songs we can get an idea of what Mika is like. I'm not simply talking about the gay thing, but about the Mika thing.

His songs talk a lot about him needing to be accepted for whom he is, and loved for whom he is.

 

Why don't you like me

Love love me

No hope, no love, no glory. no happy ending

Maybe love is what I need, but not your sympathy

I bet you can't erase my love.

 

His new songs have even more clues about whom Mika is. To me, he isn't gay or straight, he's Mika and he's completely unique.

 

He's Mika and that's all I need to know.

[vanessa]

Long thread:biggrin2:

I soooo love Mika for not talking about his boy/girlfriends, all this stuff. For the public he clearly wants to remain a musician and it's really pointless to label his sexuality.

For me... I'd prefer him to be gay, to be honest, otherwise if he ever reveals his girlfriend I'd die of jealousy:boxed: (joking but I can already feel that stinging feeling in my heart)

Now, in many countries being/not being a gay is not a big deal at all but there are still places in the world (e.g. Poland where I'm from) where there are many singers/showbiz people who everybody knows they're gay but they themselves would never admit that in public to avoid all the unfair judgement and comments. So, as I now live in England, I think there would be no impact if Mika ever came out but back in Poland... I don't want him to be put on the gay artists shelf. He's just bigger than that and BIG, BIG thanks to him for not speaking openly about his sexuality (but still the less he talks, the more people wonder - life...)

 

Sorry folks but I can not see Mika dating /meeting a woman