babspanky Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Westlife fan dumps husband over boyband A Westlife fan has split up with her husband due to the passion she has for the boyband. Jane Holmes was told by her second husband to "choose Westlife or [him]", according to The Mirror. The 44-year-old, who separated from partner Norman last year, has eight tattoos and has spent £30,000 on 60 of the group's concerts. Jane revealed: "I think he thought I was joking but he soon realised I wasn't. I always get stopped in the street and he couldn't hack the attention I was getting. "The concerts take up a lot of my time and money. Westlife are a really big part of my life. I'm completely devoted to them and the tattoos are my way of showing my loyalty. I like to think I am their biggest fan. "It's my only hobby. I don't smoke, I don't drink, so Westlife are my only addiction." I can identify with some of the comments here for example, I don't smoke, I don't drink much and I see Mika as a hobby, but surely this woman goes too far, sacrificing her real life relationships? What do you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willywonka Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Westlife fan dumps husband over boyband A Westlife fan has split up with her husband due to the passion she has for the boyband. Jane Holmes was told by her second husband to "choose Westlife or [him]", according to The Mirror. The 44-year-old, who separated from partner Norman last year, has eight tattoos and has spent £30,000 on 60 of the group's concerts. Jane revealed: "I think he thought I was joking but he soon realised I wasn't. I always get stopped in the street and he couldn't hack the attention I was getting. "The concerts take up a lot of my time and money. Westlife are a really big part of my life. I'm completely devoted to them and the tattoos are my way of showing my loyalty. I like to think I am their biggest fan. "It's my only hobby. I don't smoke, I don't drink, so Westlife are my only addiction." I can identify with some of the comments here for example, I don't smoke, I don't drink much and I see Mika as a hobby, but surely this woman goes too far, sacrificing her real life relationships? What do you think? I can identify too,partially, but not as radical as to break up with someone because of a band/Mika... But there are several people here who would do it, from what i know them by now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikasgirl:) Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 I don't think that if she really loved her husband she would have left him for a band:blink: But then again, we aren't getting the whole backstory on their marriage. Maybe he did drugs, was abusive, etc... In that case I would have left him for a band (or in my case Mika) in a heartbeat:thumb_yello: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dreamy_Queen Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Err... I don't smoke and drink too, but I don't think Mika will appreciate such a sacrifice. Moreover, he otherwise won't care at all, or be unpleasantly surprised. I think its rather stupid of her. Thanks God, I don't have to choose. My husband has nothing against my sitting at MFC. But I never take money for t-shirts and so on, because my family needs those money for kids (that's why I have no Mika t-shirt at all ). I suppose, she has no kids, right? Otherwise it would be more than dumb deed. Sometimes I regret so much that I can't go to every gig and so on, because my family won't let me, but what to do? I have a huge support from my family, my kids are mikafans too, and my husband drove me 3000 km to my 2 gigs and back. I think I'm very lucky, and to do something that would do any harm to my family would be a severe ingratitude. And I'm twice happy that I love Mika NOT in the way women love their husbands Of course, I don't know her real situation, but I'm talking from the position of a good normal family life. edit: We already had similar discussions, right? But as we have nothing to talk about... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzie Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 we aren't getting the whole backstory on their marriage. Maybe he did drugs, was abusive, etc... In that case I would have left him for a band (or in my case Mika) in a heartbeat:thumb_yello: I don't think it is automatic for most people that you'd leave a real life relationship for an imaginary one with a popstar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikasgirl:) Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 I don't think it is automatic for most people that you'd leave a real life relationship for an imaginary one with a popstar. But do you get what I mean? Like if she were going to leave him anyways? She might as well go all out and dedicate her whole life to a band:roftl: Sure I think she's crazy but why not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Siu Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 If I was 44, had a crappy husband I didn't financially depend on, I would sure leave him. Not for Westlife or MIKA or who else, but I'd simply leave him in hope to find either someone or something to cheer up my life. If my husband gave me 'me-or-MIKA' ultimatum, I'd seriously have to think about our relationship and future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dreamy_Queen Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 If I was 44, had a crappy husband I didn't financially depend on, I would sure leave him. Not for Westlife or MIKA or who else, but I'd simply leave him in hope to find either someone or something to cheer up my life. If my husband gave me 'me-or-MIKA' ultimatum, I'd seriously have to think about our relationship and future. But if you had a good husband who cares about family? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabine64 Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 But if you had a good husband who cares about family? Then he wouldn´t set an ultimatum........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dreamy_Queen Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Then he wouldn´t set an ultimatum........ That's right... but sometimes I start to be afraid that I'm too bad a wife and spend more time at MFC than with my husband. So I would be not surprised if he ever gets angry I have no strict opinion, and I just want (or don't wont - it would be safer) to understand my own situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 If my husband gave me 'me-or-MIKA' ultimatum, I'd seriously have to think about our relationship and future. I've seen this happen to a couple of people I know. Perhaps not in so many words, but certainly a plea from their partner to start focusing on the relationship/family more than this escapist world. And yes it is a time to think about the relationship and the future and I can see how the decision could go either way because there are usually problems in the relationship to start with. I think even if this woman says she chose Westlife over her husband it's not as simple as that and she may find herself in another relationship down the road where she'd rather spend time with her partner than going to gigs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nas Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 I've seen this happen to a couple of people I know. Perhaps not in so many words, but certainly a plea from their partner to start focusing on the relationship/family more than this escapist world. And yes it is a time to think about the relationship and the future and I can see how the decision could go either way because there are usually problems in the relationship to start with. I think even if this woman says she chose Westlife over her husband it's not as simple as that and she may find herself in another relationship down the road where she'd rather spend time with her partner than going to gigs. i agree with this, in that it's really not as simple as her choosing the band over her husband. apart from any troubles she has with her husband separate from her addiction (and we don't know what those are) i think it's important that we realise she has exactly that an ADDICTION. it just happened to be in the form of a band but could as easily been hoarding, or a drug or whatever...makes u think what addictions need/should be rehabilitated?.. my husband has voiced some concerns over me fangurling so much but i think we have an understanding and i've been able to compartmentalise...either ways i'd never leave a RL relationship solely over mika..duh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babspanky Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 i think it's important that we realise she has exactly that an ADDICTION. it just happened to be in the form of a band but could as easily been hoarding, or a drug or whatever...makes u think what addictions need/should be rehabilitated?.. This is an interesting perspective. I think you are probably right, but I bet she and others in a similar postion don't look at it the same way. I wonder who would admit they had an addiction of this kind? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 This is an interesting perspective. I think you are probably right, but I bet she and others in a similar postion don't look at it the same way. I wonder who would admit they had an addiction of this kind? Well I guess "obsession" is just a nice way of phrasing it and most people will say they have an obsession. I think the "high" of the gigs is not just a metaphor and people get truly addicted to it. I still think this is not necessarily the case in a situation like this. You might have someone who is addicted to drugs or alcohol who cannot deal with it no matter how destructive a force it is. But I think obsessing over a band can just be a symptom of a bad marriage, rather than the cause of it and if she was in a different relationship she wouldn't seek out that kind of escapism. If I was married and found myself with the level of Mika obsession I have had, I would seriously question my relationship, with or without an ultimatum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qwurtie Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 She obviously didnt really love her husband... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IngievV Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Well, my boyfriend is jealous of Mika, but he doesn't have to worry:naughty: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaya Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 There was some speculation about Mika liking woman without the "wo". I don't think any boyfriends will have to worry. Except if a guy's boyfriend is crushing on Mika. Then he's in trouble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nas Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 There was some speculation about Mika liking woman without the "wo". I don't think any boyfriends will have to worry. Except if a guy's boyfriend is crushing on Mika. Then he's in trouble. yea that would be trouble... i have told hubby that but he isn't comforted...i think he's jealous attn is being taken away from him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzie Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 I don't think any boyfriends will have to worry. Except if a guy's boyfriend is crushing on Mika. Then he's in trouble. I don't think any grown man would seriously get jealous because of the 'possibility' of a relationship between his female partner (girlfriend or wife) and a popstar. I guess this guy was more worried about him becoming the second choice. Or perhaps it was the insane amount of money missing from his bank account that opened his eyes i have told hubby that but he isn't comforted...i think he's jealous attn is being taken away from him yes. I think it is difficult to explain if liking a popstar goes beyond the point of buying his CDs and going to his concerts and even for that only you may get the 'but he is gay' remark like I did for George Michael years ago. Few men really get why women like pop music. Having said that, the story in this article is about something else for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soaring Simpson Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Then he wouldn´t set an ultimatum........ I don't see why he shouldn't. I wouldn't put up with a man who was more interested in a hobby than me- and as she did chose Westlife, that's not in doubt. I know he promised to stay with her "in sickness and in health" and she might have reality issues, but I don't see any reason to assume she does. Similarly, he might be a bad person, but there's no reason to assume that either. Maybe they'll both find someone better. But seriously- would you date a Westlife fan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Droopsy Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Westlife fan dumps husband over boyband A Westlife fan has split up with her husband due to the passion she has for the boyband. Jane Holmes was told by her second husband to "choose Westlife or [him]", according to The Mirror. The 44-year-old, who separated from partner Norman last year, has eight tattoos and has spent £30,000 on 60 of the group's concerts. Jane revealed: "I think he thought I was joking but he soon realised I wasn't. I always get stopped in the street and he couldn't hack the attention I was getting. "The concerts take up a lot of my time and money. Westlife are a really big part of my life. I'm completely devoted to them and the tattoos are my way of showing my loyalty. I like to think I am their biggest fan. "It's my only hobby. I don't smoke, I don't drink, so Westlife are my only addiction." I can identify with some of the comments here for example, I don't smoke, I don't drink much and I see Mika as a hobby, but surely this woman goes too far, sacrificing her real life relationships? What do you think? Funny coincidence, there's a new reality show starting here today called "superfans". In the previews you see fans talking about how they'd die for their idol, every inch in the house is decorated with pictures, they made scrapbooks with pictures of them and their idol getting married (photoshop or good old glue...). I'm really looking forward to watching it and seeing if/and or what I have in common with them. The situation above, I definitely see Mika and MFC as a hobby. One that is part of my life, but that's about it. Just going to work fulltime has changed how much time I invest in this hobby and how I spend that time (mostly moderating). So surely I can't imagine giving up a good, solid relationship for it. The guy had to know from the beginning that she was a huge fan, him still setting an ultimatum leads me to believe she didn't know how to find a good balance. I believe if you truly love someone this shouldn't be a problem and you automatically invest more in your partner/family. IMO family should come first. The westlife thing is probably an easy way out of the relationship. I read it's her second husband. This doesn't have to mean anything but if she divorced her first husband for the same reason, maybe she just can't settle down for whatever reason and is instead going for the unrequited love thing. Or she was hurt by her first husband so badly that she jumped in this obsession thing, loving those who can never hurt her since a real relationship with them is pretty much out of the question. Anyway, we don't know Well I guess "obsession" is just a nice way of phrasing it and most people will say they have an obsession. I think the "high" of the gigs is not just a metaphor and people get truly addicted to it. I still think this is not necessarily the case in a situation like this. You might have someone who is addicted to drugs or alcohol who cannot deal with it no matter how destructive a force it is. But I think obsessing over a band can just be a symptom of a bad marriage, rather than the cause of it and if she was in a different relationship she wouldn't seek out that kind of escapism. If I was married and found myself with the level of Mika obsession I have had, I would seriously question my relationship, with or without an ultimatum. So true I think so too, but I guess this is just how I interpret it. Maybe we're looking waaaay too much into it and she's just really addicted to them and family doesn't really matter that much to her? Anyway, I'm looking forward to that reality docu show tonight I'm sure there'll be at least one fan who has the same story as this westlife fan has. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 I think so too, but I guess this is just how I interpret it. Maybe we're looking waaaay too much into it and she's just really addicted to them and family doesn't really matter that much to her? Well I guess we can each only speak for ourselves. I go from one obsession to another. I've always been that way. If it wasn't Mika it would be something else. But when I'm in a relationship I am usually focused on that more than one other specific thing. Anyway, I'm looking forward to that reality docu show tonight I'm sure there'll be at least one fan who has the same story as this westlife fan has. Yes I want to hear about this. It sounds very interesting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babspanky Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 Maybe they'll both find someone better. But seriously- would you date a Westlife fan Point taken.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babspanky Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 A couple of years from now, she'll be going to gigs with a husband who enjoys traveling with her and thinks her tattoos are awesome. We will not see that story because it would not be as fun to gossip about her happiness as it is to gossip about the quality/validity of her personal choices. Not every person wants to be the primary focus of another person's attention. Assuming that someone's fandom is a phase and marrying them with the hope that they will get over it and start paying more attention to you is shortsighted at best. I might even dare to use the word stupid. I have no way of knowing if that last point is moot because the original post did not give use any context like how long they had been married, whether he knew about her fandom before they got married, etc. It may bYoe entirely moot. Are we as bad? Is she bad? Big assumption to make on so little information. Is it really fun to dissect another human being's choices on the basis of one out of context piece of information? Yes of course. It's human nature. You've made a fair job of it youself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Droopsy Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 Well I guess we can each only speak for ourselves. I go from one obsession to another. I've always been that way. If it wasn't Mika it would be something else. But when I'm in a relationship I am usually focused on that more than one other specific thing. Yes I want to hear about this. It sounds very interesting. Well there was in fact a woman who had been a fan of a singer for over 40 years now. She even calls him the love of her life. Her husband had been warned from the beginning and he seems fine with it. Good for him, I know I couldn't live like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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