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The absolute, final, definitive answer on Mika’s sexuality thread! With proof!


JackViolet
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Curious about “the million dollar question”? Wishing you could finally know which way Mika swings? Wondering if you should ask him to prom or ask him to dress you for prom? Well, as we know nothing hidden can remain hidden forever, and there are bound to be numerous clues left to the properly-trained detective mind.

 

Clue 1: Mika’s own songs.

 

He sings about Grace Kelly, Freddie Mercury and a man who ran off with another man! Surely these are all gay subjects. Surely he has to be gay, because no one who is not gay would ever sing about the gays, right? Oh… well… except that he swears it’s not really about him. And you know, if all his songs, including ones he swore were just about friends, were REALLY about him, he’d also be a whore-turned-preacher, and who knows what else. Hmmm. But does that mean he’s straight? He sure doesn’t sing about banging up some chicks from his own perspective very much! Except in Big Girl. But it’s not really sexual! But he grinds with his female Big Girl dancers on stage. But it’s just performance! Uh, well, moving on.

 

Clue 2: His singing voice.

 

It’s really high!

 

But his speaking voice is pretty low. And a lot of his songs are actually sung somewhere in mid-timbre. Er.

 

Clue 3: His influences.

 

Harry Nilsson! Elton John! Bowie! Prince! Freddie Mercury! TOTALLY GAY, people. Well, er. Harry Nilsson wasn’t. And Prince isn’t. And Bowie said he was, at one time, and had a bisexual phase, but has since disavowed that and called himself a “trysexual” of the “I’ll try anything once” sort. So we have, what… 2 gays vs. 2 straights, and one person somewhere in the middle? Also, there is Anie Lennox! She is a gay icon! …but not gay. Dammit.

 

Clue 4: The places he frequents.

 

He went to a gay bar! Once! That we know of! Gay for sure! Why would someone not gay go to a gay bar? Oh, except all of his band was there with him. And they’re not all gay… are they? Also, when you go somewhere with your entire band, it’s not usually to pick people up. Or maybe Cherisse was the one who wanted to go. And, uh, the rest of the time we’ve heard of him frequenting bars, it wasn’t gay ones. Dammit again!

 

Clue 5: The clothes he wears and his stage manner.

 

Well it’s all really poofy, isn’t it? Like that David Bowie and Prince and Elton John fella… oh wait, we’ve been down this road before. But anyway, he hangs out with the gay peoples! Who dress weird like he does! Like Alan Cumming! And Perez Hilton! And Kanye West and Calvin Harris! Oh… the last two are not gay? …Right.

 

Clue 6: Oral fixation.

 

Well, he totally has one. But he also totally wears baseball caps. And we know those are the anti-gay.

 

Clue 7: Rainbows!

 

Rainbows mean gay! And he likes bright rainbow colors. And he wears that rainbow-colored charm on his mobile.

 

But, er, Blue was the one who gave him that charm. And he never really wears actual rainbow-themed things beside that. Dammit three times!

 

Clue 8: MAGAZINES.

 

He’s been on the cover of Out and the Advocate and has been interviewed on Logo! …But he’s never actually said he was gay. And he was also interviewed in a bunch of girly mags where he was asked about his perfect type of girl. But he was careful not to actually answer the question in terms of gender! But he still never admitted he was gay. Or straight. Or… anything.

 

Clue 9: the EARRING.

 

Christine’s photos have definitively (or so I say!) shown that Mika used to have an earring in his left ear, and then has let the piercing grow over just as he was setting out to promote LiCM. In case you all don’t know, an earring like that signifies that you are gay!

 

Except that it’s supposed to be in your right ear, not left. Um.

 

Except that some people say it’s left in the UK but right everywhere else.

 

Except that most other people say it’s always the right ear everywhere. But how many straight men have earrings anyway?

 

Damn! He even considers the ambiguity of his ear piercings! The boy is gooooooooood.

 

Well, here I have taken you through a detailed analysis of Mika’s sexual orientation based on the information that we have, obtained both from public news sources, and painstaking stalking. And as you can see, when one examines all the evidence, once can conclude that… well… that Mika’s really really devious! Even his “tells” are non-tell!

 

The boy is far too clever for our own good. We really can’t compete.

 

--Jack

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There, now I've brought it all out into the open. I hope everyone has profited from my in-depth discussion. Now we can just point newbies here, since I've done all the work.

 

--Jack

 

I'd call this a perfect deduction! :wink2:

Love your writing style by the way!

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Jack I can't believe this...

 

 

BTW, nobody said the earring has to do with his orientation...you assumed that!!:boxed: Not mentioning other things which actually could offend Mika like we didn't do previously in the Personal Life thread.

 

If everybody is gonna participate here, I ask for a little coherence, people. I think I remember most of the things you put in the other thread, why this one would be different? Is the same thing, but created by jack Violet, is it a Plus? :naughty::naughty::naughty:

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very random - i just read that ricky martin is gay.

 

Ricky Martin is bi :mf_rosetinted: here in latinamerica we knew that for years. Anyway, he has a 14 year old daughter, who was born at the first year of his career, and she was hidden to protect his interests....It's scary when I think it could happen to Mika in a similar way. Or not. I guess he'd be more careful than Ricky :naughty:

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Jack I can't believe this...

 

do you pretend to make me believe that we shouldn't care about Mika's sexuality, beacuse it's the right thing , and you create a thread like this??? :roftl: :roftl:

 

 

BTW, nobody said the earring has to do with his orientation...you assumed that!!:boxed: Not mentioning other things which actually could offend Mika like we didn't do previously in the Personal Life thread.

 

If everybody is gonna participate here, I ask for a little coherence, people. I think I remember most of the things you put in the other thread, why this one would be different? Is the same thing, but created by jack Violet, is it a Plus? :naughty::naughty::naughty:

 

I was trying to get it up to 10 Clues. I gave up though.

 

Well, 90% of what I wrote is basically stuff directly lifted from previous discussions or from other sites/blogs/articles. Actually, I think the earring is the most fun one. Just because it HAS been used as a sign, but the thing is, his earring--if it even existed--is not on the side that one would suppose it should be to indicate anything. It's like a mobius strip of conflicting signifiers. And since the end result is just to show that we don't know anything for sure anyway, and attempting to discuss it becomes ridiculous, I don't think it's really offensive...

 

I would not mind if someone wrote that about me, anyway. :mf_rosetinted:

 

--Jack

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Clue 7: Rainbows!

 

Rainbows mean gay! And he likes bright rainbow colors. And he wears that rainbow-colored charm on his mobile.

 

i LOVE rainbows. hm......siggy says it all' date=' i am GAY!:naughty:

 

but im a hippie, rainbows are my life! (not literally, about hallf me life lol)

 

:mf_rosetinted:[/quote']

 

Apparently not all the hippies were/are gay. Good point.

And I`m sorry about what you write in your profile.

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