The "what am I doing with my life?" thread

[Igloo]

Cheers.

 

I'm still paying off my student loans, and I have a less clear idea now at nearly 25 what I want to do with my life than I did at 19 or 20.

 

I'm starting to think now that what I really need is a job that I can "own". Something that I can feel personally invested in, like whatever I'm working on is my baby and I want it to succeed. I've got this random idea that I'd like to start a music management company, but I live in a boring city with no real music scene. Sigh.

 

Same here. When I was 19 I pretty much had my whole life planned out, and now I feel pretty lost. I'm probably changing my plans on a monthly basis.

And I completely agree with wanting a job that you can own... I want a job that I'm completely invested in. Not just something I do from 9 to 4 in order to make money.

[MissPie]

Does your school have a Media studies subject? I didn't discover my school had one till I came to choose my GCSE options. If they do, take it! Because if you can get a qualfication in media (or getting a distinction = A) it will help getting you into a place into future education in media such as journalism and radio presenting..

 

I'm trying to get work experience at a radio station as I have to do work experience next June and with those sort of things on your CV when you apply for job they will more likely go for people with experience in someway.

 

Do you play an instrument? Because if you can sing, all you need is an instrument then you could become a musician and meet celebrities, etc.

 

I'm on the pupils magazine. I do the layout there. But a Media studies subject? I don't think so.

An instrument... not really. I used to take flute lessons, but I gave it up about a year ago, and I'm trying to learn to play the guitar, but I don't really make progress. I should try harder on that...

But after all, becoming a musician myself doesn't seem so attractive to me. I'd kinda prefer that cover band of the station... No need to write songs myself:naughty:

Edited October 19, 2009 by MissPie

[mandilambi]

Quoting this again...

 

My editor emailed me tonight and said that in the morning, he needs me to go on a tour of a waste processing plant, and write an article about it.

 

This is what I don't like about writing for a daily paper. Could there be anything more dull to write about? Anything at all?

 

And now I have to interview people about waste processing, and fake being actually interested. Hooo, boy.

 

 

I totally understand. I had a bunch of friends get engaged before Andrew and I did, even couples who hadn't been together as long. So I know that the waiting really is the hardest part.

 

It's nice that someone can relate! The other day a two friends of ours got engaged after only four months of dating...and here Kenton and I are going on 10 months... I thought "Hmmm...I'm happy for them...but..when the heck is it my turn!" LOL

 

I actually had a woman literally yell at me the other day for saying I wish we would get engaged soon. She said "It's JUST a ring. If you know it's going to happen, why do you have to be forcing it to happen?" And there I was thinking...you have no idea where I am coming from, so why bother even trying to explain? Ah well.

[CazGirl]

How's that going for you?

 

A bit pants to be honest lol, I'm up to the bit where I have to say about 3 things that are good about me. Luckily I'm hanging out with my sister today, so maybe she can pinpoint my good points I hate sounding bigheaded.

 

Quoting this again...

 

My editor emailed me tonight and said that in the morning, he needs me to go on a tour of a waste processing plant, and write an article about it.

 

This is what I don't like about writing for a daily paper. Could there be anything more dull to write about? Anything at all?

 

And now I have to interview people about waste processing, and fake being actually interested. Hooo, boy.

 

**Note to self: NEVER work for a newspaper**

[sienna]

A bit pants to be honest lol, I'm up to the bit where I have to say about 3 things that are good about me. Luckily I'm hanging out with my sister today, so maybe she can pinpoint my good points I hate sounding bigheaded.

 

 

It's hard to point out good things about one self but I think it's even harder to point out things that you're not so good at, your biggest wrongs/failures!

Some interviewers use that and even though I’m well aware of my weak points I’m not so keen on talking about them and make them “public”!

 

But…think about what kind of qualities they are looking for….and work on a list!

 

About you…please let me contribute with a few things that come to mind after our forum conversations for some time and meeting you in real life for about 30 seconds!

 

You are always polite.

You are extremely good at English, and a good teacher.

You are good at writing stories, witty and imaginative!

[Shikutukumimika]

I'm throwing it away.

[MissPie]

I'm throwing it away.

 

What?

[Cozy]

I just finished up my vocal performance degree So now I can officially say that I'm a professional opera singer, yay! Right now, I'm doing mostly religious gigs, weddings, etc. etc, as well as teaching lessons. I intend to go back to school next year and finish up a teaching degree (just in case!), after taking this year off to work and do some auditions, just to get audition experience under my belt

[CazGirl]

It's hard to point out good things about one self but I think it's even harder to point out things that you're not so good at, your biggest wrongs/failures!

Some interviewers use that and even though I’m well aware of my weak points I’m not so keen on talking about them and make them “public”!

 

But…think about what kind of qualities they are looking for….and work on a list!

 

About you…please let me contribute with a few things that come to mind after our forum conversations for some time and meeting you in real life for about 30 seconds!

 

You are always polite.

You are extremely good at English, and a good teacher.

You are good at writing stories, witty and imaginative!

 

Oh I'm quite happy to pick out my faults LOL!

 

And thank you for your compliments...I've done my covering letter!

[ruxi]

you can actually ignore this post...but i need to let it all out somewhere.

i'm scared...i don't know if i made the right decision or not.

i wasn't sure if i wanted to go to med school. i wasn't sure if i wanted to actually be a doctor and hold lives in my hands.

after getting into med school i am loving every bit and until tonight i was sure i found my way in life. now it just struck me and I can't help thinking that people do die... and i have to deal with that. i bawl my eyes when i see poor people and even sick people. they say that the deciding point is after you see the body in the dissection room...many people give up then. well..i'm not afraid of that. i'm afraid that i won't be able to cope with losses and the thing is...i don't want to. i just don't find it right to see people dieing, people suffering, and just deal with it.

next week i start my CPR classes in the E.R. section. just please pray that i'll handle it and be able to move on.

 

 

is there any doctor on here? how do you get over all that? i know that seeing a patient leave and get well gives you a great feeling...but how do you deal with the fact you can't heal all of them?

[violet_sky]

That's a question I ask myself way too often.

[avoca]

that's a question I ask myself a lot these days... wooooorrkkkkk suuuuccckkkkssssss

[englishrose]

It's nice that someone can relate! The other day a two friends of ours got engaged after only four months of dating...and here Kenton and I are going on 10 months... I thought "Hmmm...I'm happy for them...but..when the heck is it my turn!" LOL

 

I actually had a woman literally yell at me the other day for saying I wish we would get engaged soon. She said "It's JUST a ring. If you know it's going to happen, why do you have to be forcing it to happen?" And there I was thinking...you have no idea where I am coming from, so why bother even trying to explain? Ah well.

 

Do you HAVE to wait for your boyfriend to propose? If you know it's going to happen soon anyway...you could always turn the tables

 

I just finished up my vocal performance degree So now I can officially say that I'm a professional opera singer, yay! Right now, I'm doing mostly religious gigs, weddings, etc. etc, as well as teaching lessons. I intend to go back to school next year and finish up a teaching degree (just in case!), after taking this year off to work and do some auditions, just to get audition experience under my belt

 

*gasp* Ooooh! How is it going for you? Is finding work hard or are you getting by?

 

you can actually ignore this post...but i need to let it all out somewhere.

i'm scared...i don't know if i made the right decision or not.

i wasn't sure if i wanted to go to med school. i wasn't sure if i wanted to actually be a doctor and hold lives in my hands.

after getting into med school i am loving every bit and until tonight i was sure i found my way in life. now it just struck me and I can't help thinking that people do die... and i have to deal with that. i bawl my eyes when i see poor people and even sick people. they say that the deciding point is after you see the body in the dissection room...many people give up then. well..i'm not afraid of that. i'm afraid that i won't be able to cope with losses and the thing is...i don't want to. i just don't find it right to see people dieing, people suffering, and just deal with it.

next week i start my CPR classes in the E.R. section. just please pray that i'll handle it and be able to move on.

 

 

is there any doctor on here? how do you get over all that? i know that seeing a patient leave and get well gives you a great feeling...but how do you deal with the fact you can't heal all of them?

 

It's mostly for that reason that I could never be a doctor...I hope you get through it OK!

[riverstwilight]

It's hard to point out good things about one self but I think it's even harder to point out things that you're not so good at, your biggest wrongs/failures!

Some interviewers use that and even though I’m well aware of my weak points I’m not so keen on talking about them and make them “public”!

 

This question I actually know about because it used to kick my butt in interviews. They aren't looking for you to bare your soul about how you feel about yourself.

 

They are mostly looking for a window into how you evaluate things and solve problems. So by listing your strengths, you are showing what qualities you have that would make you good at the job or help you fit in within that environment. Remember, the interview isn't just about finding out what skills you have because you already listed them on the resume/cv. It's about getting a feel for your personality and whether or not you would fit in.

 

It's also about you getting to know who you would be working with and finding out if you have good chemistry. Remember, you are interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you. When it isn't all about you, it's much easier to relax and be yourself.

 

The question about your faults isn't a chance for you to tell them how much you suck. It's a chance to show off your problem solving abilities. I never mention a weakness without mentioning a corresponding trait that balances it or talking about how I work around it so that it doesn't get in the way of things I want.

 

One of my "weaknesses" in the work place is that I tend to be a perfectionist, which can slow things down if I get stuck on something, so I balance that by being excellent at prioritizing and managing my workflow so that I can see when it's time to let something slightly imperfect get past me so that things don't get held up by something that probably isn't broken the way I think it is. If it is, I can fix it after it's been proofread by a few people.

 

In the last company I worked for everything went past at least three sets of eyes, most often six sets. Generally, most printed things will go past at least one proofreader and one editor. No matter how many eyes see a thing, a glaring mistake can still be missed because people are fallible.

 

is there any doctor on here? how do you get over all that? i know that seeing a patient leave and get well gives you a great feeling...but how do you deal with the fact you can't heal all of them?

 

Dealing with death and loss isn't easy for anybody. You don't have to sacrifice your sense of compassion to get through it. You don't have to become cold and hard inside.

 

However, you do have to find a way to cope with it that works for you. I would suggest finding people you respect, people who seem to respect others and display compassion for others, and ask them how they deal with loss or how they suggest others deal with it. It's important to ask people you respect for their compassion because they are the ones most likely to give you an answer that helps you rather than giving you an answer that needless discourages you (because some people do believe that cynicism is the best remedy for loss and that won't be a helpful answer for you.)

 

I work as a caregiver, so I've had to take classes on coping with loss. The thing that always comes up is take care of yourself first. Do your best to get enough sleep, food, water, and exercise. Do your best to make sure that you have fun and do things that affirm your life. Pay attention to your needs and meet your needs as best you can. That keeps your energy levels up so that you can be successful at helping other people meet their needs. It keeps your energy levels so that you can more easily deal with loss.

 

Dealing with loss never gets easy, but if you are affirming your own life, it can be something you can cope with. Build connections with your friends and family and surround yourself with a strong emotional support network. I don't just mean people who will be directly supportive, but people simply doing things with you and being close to you is life affirming and emotionally supportive.

 

It isn't self-centered. It's self-filling. You're like a cup. When your needs are met, you're full emotionally. That means you can pour out compassion and support without draining yourself dry and doing damage to yourself. When you're only half-full or nearly empty, you are deeply limited in how much you can pour out before you're drained dry and have nothing to give. When you have nothing to give, you feel tired and wrung out and tend to be more calloused and less compassionate. You can hurt people without realizing it. So, you want to keep your cup full.

 

The important part of dealing with loss is finding a way to accept it as a natural part of life. Some people turn to religion for that. If you can believe that spirits move on to something better, you may be able to feel like you helped them along their journey even though you couldn't lengthen the time of their journey here. Some people don't need to religion to feel that way because what we do in this life is important enough without the sense of external reward. Even if you lose a patient, you did a good thing by helping them during their last days.

 

In fact, this is where compassion is the most important trait for a doctor. You can't make everybody healthy, but you CAN help everybody be as healthy as possible for them and when you can do that with compassion, you not only help heal their bodies, but you can help heal emotional wounds.

 

I've been abused emotionally and physically by doctors who assumed that my weight meant I didn't deserve their care because I was obviously killing myself by degrees. They thought my food and exercise logs were lies and yelled at me and treated my body roughly. A doctor who can be compassionate is the most important thing in the world to me. It took a decade to find one and I'm so relieved everytime I'm in his office because he shows genuine respect for me and listens to me and helps me instead of yelling at me for not doing enough to help myself.

 

He's a cardiologist in a town full of elderly people. He loses a lot of patients. I think he keeps his cup full in a lot of ways because I've never seen him look tired or calloused.

 

Please do whatever you can to get through med school, if you are able. The world is desperately in need of compassionate doctors.

[Cozy]

*gasp* Ooooh! How is it going for you? Is finding work hard or are you getting by?

 

I'm doing pretty well as it is Making the rent, at least, haha! Some of the auditions are just rough, though x.x Went up to NYC to audition for Disney, waited seven hours in line, and got all of 15 seconds to sing. Too big x.x* Le sigh! I was hoping that, since it wasn't a face character roll, maybe they'd consider me x.x Oh well! (At least I sang my ass off!)

[ruxi]

 

It's mostly for that reason that I could never be a doctor...I hope you get through it OK!

thanks

1)Even if you lose a patient, you did a good thing by helping them during their last days.

 

In fact, this is where compassion is the most important trait for a doctor. You can't make everybody healthy, but you CAN help everybody be as healthy as possible for them and when you can do that with compassion, you not only help heal their bodies, but you can help heal emotional wounds.

 

2)I've been abused emotionally and physically by doctors who assumed that my weight meant I didn't deserve their care because I was obviously killing myself by degrees. They thought my food and exercise logs were lies and yelled at me and treated my body roughly. A doctor who can be compassionate is the most important thing in the world to me. It took a decade to find one and I'm so relieved everytime I'm in his office because he shows genuine respect for me and listens to me and helps me instead of yelling at me for not doing enough to help myself.

 

He's a cardiologist in a town full of elderly people. He loses a lot of patients. I think he keeps his cup full in a lot of ways because I've never seen him look tired or calloused.

 

Please do whatever you can to get through med school, if you are able. The world is desperately in need of compassionate doctors.

1) i guess i seem to forget that in my desperate wish to make it all perfect. you are right... at least i try.

2) i'm really sorry that happened. you don't have to let that affect you. you know...those kind of people aren't even true doctors. they're just a bunch of people that have tools to make patients better. but to be a doctor i think you need a heart too. i'm glad you found a good doctor that cares and understands you. it always makes me happy to see that these kind of people exist... it makes me feel that it's not impossible to be like that.

 

and...3) thanks for everything you wrote in your post...it really made me feel better and gave me a bit of courage.

 

 

now back to my books and back to celullar biology

[CazGirl]

I handed my CV in to some shops today...fingers crossed...thanks everyone for their help!

[mandilambi]

Do you HAVE to wait for your boyfriend to propose? If you know it's going to happen soon anyway...you could always turn the tables

 

 

 

*gasp* Ooooh! How is it going for you? Is finding work hard or are you getting by?

 

 

 

It's mostly for that reason that I could never be a doctor...I hope you get through it OK!

 

LOL good point....but yes, I do have to wait cos I have waited forever to be proposed to and by golly, I'm gonna get it!

[mandilambi]

So...I think my boyfriend Kenton is planning to propose on Thanksgiving. I could be completely wrong, but he's said things lately that are leading me to believe he's going to.

[Fmbm]

So...I think my boyfriend Kenton is planning to propose on Thanksgiving. I could be completely wrong, but he's said things lately that are leading me to believe he's going to.

 

Aww I hope he does

[mandilambi]

Thanks, so do I! I am trying to remain calm....I don't want to get my hopes too high and then have Thanksgiving come and have him not ask me.

 

But he said yesterday "I am planning to ask you at a time when you'll be able to show it (the ring) off to family." Thanksgiving is the only time in the year when family comes and visits my immediate family....and Thanksgiving happens to be my favorite day of the entire year. lol...soo....I hope hope hope that my feeling is right!

[Fmbm]

Thanks, so do I! I am trying to remain calm....I don't want to get my hopes too high and then have Thanksgiving come and have him not ask me.

 

But he said yesterday "I am planning to ask you at a time when you'll be able to show it (the ring) off to family." Thanksgiving is the only time in the year when family comes and visits my immediate family....and Thanksgiving happens to be my favorite day of the entire year. lol...soo....I hope hope hope that my feeling is right!

Well that does sound very insinuating

But yeah, try and remain calm

[mandilambi]

LOL I'm doing my best, Nono! I'll give you an update on the 26th!

[Fmbm]

LOL I'm doing my best, Nono! I'll give you an update on the 26th!

 

Yay!

[riverstwilight]

So...I think my boyfriend Kenton is planning to propose on Thanksgiving. I could be completely wrong, but he's said things lately that are leading me to believe he's going to.

 

OMG I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!!

 

Please keep us posted!