2012 - Mika Tells Instinct, “Yeah, I’m gay.”

[smokesignal]

But it's not as interesting as "lady in Paris" or that blond woman no one seems to know holding his hand We haven't had really funny threads for a long time. Everything is so serious.

 

There's not too much of a difference between making these threads for both men and women or making them just for men. I don't think anyone ever takes any of those serious anyway. We could start a boyfriend bingo thread... I'm sure we'd have dozens of names within a day if people got into it...

[Marilyn Mastin]

I don't see how that is worse than 'Mika, who continually refuses to label himself and does not want to discuss his sexuality, ...', which is what articles said before. The guy is in love and he wants to shout it from the rooftops, so let him enjoy it.

 

 

 

Is that an existing expression? I love it!

 

 

 

Indeed, it can't be good for a relationship to say you don't limit yourself in who you sleep with and regularly deny being in a relationship. Although I guess it would have been a symptom of a up relationship rather than the cause. Either way, it doesn't sound very healthy (or am I being too conservative here?).

No you're not. I also do agree that there may have been something not so good about the previous relationship. I get the impression it was a kind of on-off thing. I certainly couldn't tell that he was in-love during those years and I don't think anyone else could either.

But I get the impression that this new relationship is the right one for him, and we can all tell he's absolutely besotted with this guy and has found his soulmate.

I think it's beautiful.

[basicamenteyo]

The sexual orientation don't define your indentity, the person you are.

 

I need to disagree here. Everything you are DEFINE your identity. If you are gay, it defines your identity.

 

And even if for you or your gay friends a "coming out" wasn´t necessary, obviously for gay people all around the world, who are still bullied and criticised it IS really important. It´s not that the headline "Mika is gay" will prevent a 14 yo boy from being bullied in a hidden little village, but yes, it is a big step, a big help for a comunity that has the same right as heterosexual people, that shouldn´t never be bullied or killed (WTF??). So, even if for us fans it wasn´t something we needed to read, yes, I think it´s a great step, and I´m very proud of him, and I know that it really helps gay people to feel better, cause the more gay famous people come out, the more it will be "normalized" (if this word exists).

[flyingkites]

I need to disagree here. Everything you are DEFINE your identity. If you are gay, it defines your identity.

 

Agreed. I think some people may even find their sexual orientation as the most important factor when it comes to their identity and views on themselves. I don't think there's anything wrong with that either nor is it a lesser part of one's identity than nationality, for example.

[basicamenteyo]

Agreed. I think some people may even find their sexual orientation as the most important factor when it comes to their identity and views on themselves. I don't think there's anything wrong with that either nor is it a lesser part of one's identity than nationality, for example.

 

In this society, when you really need to "come out" to explain your sexuality, OBVIOUSLY, people´s sexuality IS important. We need zillions of "coming outs" to reach the point when doing it it´s not important anymore. But for that, we need to get used to see gay people, and for that, to make people understand, that it´s not a sin, or a chronic disease, we need to normalize it. How can we do it?? By making people in the street realise that that singer they like, that actor/actress they love, are gay. If they don´t come out and don´t make a public confession, homosexuality will never be a normal thing and there will be people who still will think it´s something bad or something we need to cure...

[krysady]

I need to disagree here. Everything you are DEFINE your identity. If you are gay, it defines your identity.

 

I just needed to quote this!

[smokesignal]

I need to disagree here. Everything you are DEFINE your identity. If you are gay, it defines your identity.

 

And even if for you or your gay friends a "coming out" wasn´t necessary, obviously for gay people all around the world, who are still bullied and criticised it IS really important. It´s not that the headline "Mika is gay" will prevent a 14 yo boy from being bullied in a hidden little village, but yes, it is a big step, a big help for a comunity that has the same right as heterosexual people, that shouldn´t never be bullied or killed (WTF??). So, even if for us fans it wasn´t something we needed to read, yes, I think it´s a great step, and I´m very proud of him, and I know that it really helps gay people to feel better, cause the more gay famous people come out, the more it will be "normalized" (if this word exists).

 

I agree with you, although I don't think the first part is true only for gay people. Who you fall in love with says a lot about who you are and where you stand in life and can thus be seen a defining part of your identity. And of course, it is great to have role models that show people that being gay is normal.

 

However, and I think this relates a little bit to Sephira's problem with all this, I've been appalled by some of the comments of parts of the gay community that wanted him to come out. I understand that some of these people have had a very difficult life, but that is no reason for such blatant intolerance and hatred.

 

I read an article the other day about kids in the Netherlands coming out at an earlier age. Some of the children interviewed came out when they were still in elementary school. And there's such a huge difference between falling in love with someone at the age of 12 or at the age of, let's say, 16. Why put a label on yourself if you don't have to?

 

Clearly these kids were comfortable enough with the label and with themselves to put their picture in one of the major newspapers in the country. Now on the one hand I'm very happy that I live in a country where that is possible. On the other hand, I feel that for a 12 year old it might be better to remain labelless and give his or her sexual identity some time to develop.

[Marilyn Mastin]

In this society, when you really need to "come out" to explain your sexuality, OBVIOUSLY, people´s sexuality IS important. We need zillions of "coming outs" to reach the point when doing it it´s not important anymore. But for that, we need to get used to see gay people, and for that, to make people understand, that it´s not a sin, or a chronic disease, we need to normalize it. How can we do it?? By making people in the street realise that that singer they like, that actor/actress they love, are gay. If they don´t come out and don´t make a public confession, homosexuality will never be a normal thing and there will be people who still will think it´s something bad or something we need to cure...

I think that Mika will be a great gay role model. Because he doesn't make it into such a big deal, if you get what I mean.

There are some gay celebs that I absolutely can't stand. Not because they're gay, but because they make it into such a big issue. It's like they're always going, "look at me, I'm gay. Wanna join me?" Making out it's the best thing since sliced bread and everyone should be doing it. That really gets on my nerves.

What is needed is, the type of gay celeb that Mika is. One who talks about falling in love, being in a happy relationship which isn't really any different from a straight one, except it's with another man. Gay men like Mika are the right type to make people realise it's really just another side of normal, and nothing to get fussed over.

Once people realise that, it will be less of a big deal and more accepted in society.

[suzie]

I need to disagree here. Everything you are DEFINE your identity. If you are gay, it defines your identity.

 

Agreed. I think some people may even find their sexual orientation as the most important factor when it comes to their identity and views on themselves. I don't think there's anything wrong with that either nor is it a lesser part of one's identity than nationality, for example.

 

It most denitely defines choices people make in life, so yes, all in agreement about it being an important part of one's identity:thumb_yello:

[suzie]

I've been appalled by some of the comments of parts of the gay community that wanted him to come out. I understand that some of these people have had a very difficult life, but that is no reason for such blatant intolerance and hatred.

Sometimes I find that these aggressive comments and unnecessary 'freedom fights' work against the interest of the gay community. They also need to respect the idea of 'live and let lve'.

 

I read an article the other day about kids in the Netherlands coming out at an earlier age. Some of the children interviewed came out when they were still in elementary school. And there's such a huge difference between falling in love with someone at the age of 12 or at the age of, let's say, 16. Why put a label on yourself if you don't have to?

 

I find that shocking. Surely kids get the idea of being 'diferent' from the rest of their pals at an early age as everyone must have a clear idea of fancying either boys or girls even at kindergarden, but putting a 'label' to it without one having their identity fully developed is a huge mistake, in my opinion.

[smokesignal]

What is needed is, the type of gay celeb that Mika is. One who talks about falling in love, being in a happy relationship which isn't really any different from a straight one, except it's with another man. Gay men like Mika are the right type to make people realise it's really just another side of normal, and nothing to get fussed over.

Once people realise that, it will be less of a big deal and more accepted in society.

 

[Sephira]

I need to disagree here. Everything you are DEFINE your identity. If you are gay, it defines your identity.

 

And even if for you or your gay friends a "coming out" wasn´t necessary, obviously for gay people all around the world, who are still bullied and criticised it IS really important. It´s not that the headline "Mika is gay" will prevent a 14 yo boy from being bullied in a hidden little village, but yes, it is a big step, a big help for a comunity that has the same right as heterosexual people, that shouldn´t never be bullied or killed (WTF??). So, even if for us fans it wasn´t something we needed to read, yes, I think it´s a great step, and I´m very proud of him, and I know that it really helps gay people to feel better, cause the more gay famous people come out, the more it will be "normalized" (if this word exists).

 

It does not make sense how you want someone who says herself different and defined herself by his sexual orientation as a person can be considered normal since this person defined herself as abnormal And I would add that how a person sees only the gay community and frequently little people outside this community can be considered as normal. If people live with others and speaks with everyone there would be fewer misunderstandings and less xenophobia.

Some people are homophobic in Europe and some people are just afraid and don't understand. Some people could change their mind about homosexuality some not.

I give you an example:

My cousin had a father passionate about literature, he wrote a lot and he passed on his passion to his son. My cousin decided to become a literature professor, he also wrote many books on analysis of works of French literature. He is professor of literature's most famous high school in Paris. There is also a talented pianist, music is a family business we are all musicians at heart. He has a good and happy life, friends and for 25 years lives with the love of his life. He has a life like evrybody, a "normal life" and the love of his life is a man. His life would have been the same if the love of his life was a woman, he would have done the same job, would have had the same passions, the same friends and the same lifestyle. My cousin have 50, people was less tolerant toward homosexuality when he was young but no one considered him as abnormal even if he was not hiding from being in love with a man.

[NowTheDreamsWontDo]

I find that shocking. Surely kids get the idea of being 'diferent' from the rest of their pals at an early age as everyone must have a clear idea of fancying either boys or girls even at kindergarden, but putting a 'label' to it without one having their identity fully developed is a huge mistake, in my opinion.

 

I am not 100% what I think about these children coming out at such a young age.

 

I remember playing house (vadertje & moedertje) with my best friend when I was about 5 years old and I was soooo bored with having to play the dad all the time I proposed to play house as a lesbian couple (moedertje en moedertje). Bitch said no haha. Irony lies in that she moved across the world and I have seen her twice in the past 12 years. The last time was one year ago and my gaydar wouldn't stop ringing. Hadn't had a boyfriend either, despite her being 22. Anyways, I had of course absolutely no clue then about my feelings, but it does show that I was already very open to other paradigms.

 

At age 11 we were doing a goodbye musical at school and the guy who did our choreography was a 15ish yo ex-student. At one point My stupid classmates decided he was too gay to be around and bullied him so much that he actually left. My teacher explained what happened to the people who had had nothing to do with the bullying, and without initially knowing what "gay" meant I decided that it was irrelevant because he was just so gooood. it didn't increase my non-existed popularity, but oh well I think he appreciated it.

 

Now the strangest part is being out now and seeing all these children around me. A boy I have been babysitting for 4 years painted our nails with his own yellow glitter, green glitter and pink glitter nail polish. He listens only to Mika, Sliimy and Jamai's Step Right Up & Glee. We watch these videos on my netbook (I've got a playlist for him haha). His favourite is the one where Blaine serenades Kurt. He actually said one time: I wish these two boys were in love so they were gay. Not kidding. And when I told them they actually were in love, he askewhy while bouncing off the sofa) why these two weren't married, then. I'm so happy for him that his parents are sooooo fantastic. You know, his father once noticed my "I can't even think straight" sticker on my computer (didn't even know it was there yet, friend of mine put it on XD) and all he said was: nice sticker you've got there. He already comes downstairs at night to pick up the folder of a ballet performance he saw with his parents because there is this boy dancer in it he can't help staring at. It's not going to take long for him to realise he's gay. He's 9 years old now, so however this goes, he's going to be young and I dont think he has any idea of what the world around him might think. He is already telling people the boy next door is in love with him so he might as well "come out" now.

 

I'm not saying that is good, necessarily, but honestly, I'd rather have him admit it now so that we can help him prepare. Also, if later on he decides he is not quite gay after all, I think people will understand.

 

The only alternative in this case is to scare him into staying in the closet, which is not something I'd ever ever do. Obviously nobody's going to pull him out either, but actually pushing him back in is not going to help anyone. He is so comfortable now, not holding back or making excuses. I know it is naive to think this will never change. At one point he will see what people think about him, but isn't it worth trying to at least be there for him?

Edited August 15, 2012 by NowTheDreamsWontDo

[smokesignal]

At one point he will see what people think about him, but isn't it worth trying to at least be there for him?

 

I'm not going to quote the whole story, since it's so long. But thanks for putting it there. I was trying to put a bit of the other side of the story in what I wrote, but it ended up a completely incomprehensible mess, so I gave up on it.

 

There are indeed people where you just know, even in childhood (hearing Mika talk about his childhood sometimes, I think it's safe to assume his parents would have had a clue by the time they pulled him out of school). A hunch like that is not necessarily always correct though. Admittedly, my gaydar is nonexistent because I don't give a ****, so other people are probably better at it guessing...

 

Anyway, I would never want to push someone back into the closet, but there's a difference between saying you're in love with someone from the same (or other) gender or saying that you're gay (or straight). I wouldn't want anyone to put either of those labels on themselves unless they're certain about it and comfortable with it. I know a 'billy brown' and although that story turned out ok (he's married to his lover now, and him and his ex-wife are still friends), people shouldn't push themselves to be in a relationship where they don't belong.

 

As for that boy, I hope his friends will be as sweet and supportive as his parents, and I just wish he could live in a world where it didn't matter. Because that's the only way people are really going to have the freedom to figure this stuff out for themselves, on their own terms, and in their own time.

[suzie]

@NowTheDreamsWontDo Thanks for all three stories from real life, I really liked reading them. I have never met a young boy who would act so gay, although the fact that at age 4 he knows what it means to be gay (well, more or less, anyway) shows that his parents have been talking to him about that. Actually, it sounds like Mika's Toy Boy story but with a more understanding female figure in the family and probably a happy ending, too. I think @smokesignal makes a good point that it does depend on what is meants by these kids coming outs: if it comes with a 'label' or is only about letting these kids behave as they would and be open about their love interests, although in this case it is probably advisable for parents to explain that the love interest may feel differently about that... It must be an extremely difficult issue for parents to handle, especially at such early age of the child.

[willywonka]

@NowTheDreamsWontDo Thanks for all three stories from real life, I really liked reading them. I have never met a young boy who would act so gay, although the fact that at age 4 he knows what it means to be gay (well, more or less, anyway) shows that his parents have been talking to him about that. Actually, it sounds like Mika's Toy Boy story but with a more understanding female figure in the family and probably a happy ending, too. I think @smokesignal makes a good point that it does depend on what is meants by these kids coming outs: if it comes with a 'label' or is only about letting these kids behave as they would and be open about their love interests, although in this case it is probably advisable for parents to explain that the love interest may feel differently about that... It must be an extremely difficult issue for parents to handle, especially at such early age of the child.

 

Aren't you at the gig???? Or am i that confused????

[RAK1]

Aren't you at the gig???? Or am i that confused????

 

It's Canadian Suzie who's at the gig:wink2:

[suzie]

Aren't you at the gig???? Or am i that confused????

 

... you confused me for a minute, too....

[NowTheDreamsWontDo]

I'm not going to quote the whole story, since it's so long. But thanks for putting it there. I was trying to put a bit of the other side of the story in what I wrote, but it ended up a completely incomprehensible mess, so I gave up on it.

 

There are indeed people where you just know, even in childhood (hearing Mika talk about his childhood sometimes, I think it's safe to assume his parents would have had a clue by the time they pulled him out of school). A hunch like that is not necessarily always correct though. Admittedly, my gaydar is nonexistent because I don't give a ****, so other people are probably better at it guessing...

 

Anyway, I would never want to push someone back into the closet, but there's a difference between saying you're in love with someone from the same (or other) gender or saying that you're gay (or straight). I wouldn't want anyone to put either of those labels on themselves unless they're certain about it and comfortable with it. I know a 'billy brown' and although that story turned out ok (he's married to his lover now, and him and his ex-wife are still friends), people shouldn't push themselves to be in a relationship where they don't belong.

 

As for that boy, I hope his friends will be as sweet and supportive as his parents, and I just wish he could live in a world where it didn't matter. Because that's the only way people are really going to have the freedom to figure this stuff out for themselves, on their own terms, and in their own time.

 

Haha yeah sorry for it being so long. Hadn't realized until I had already posted it and by then I wasn't going to change a single thing, except for a sentence that I had written only half of haha.

 

I'm glad you liked the stories. It's difficult to write them in a way that people actually believe it. Had to bring a friend over to that child's home once because they wouldn't believe I hadn't made him up XD

 

Anyways, I do see your point in that there is a difference between being in love (ok were talking 10-year-olds-love but you know what I mean ) and labeling and you're absolutely right. It's just that the problem here is the same, however exaggerated, as the one I have with labeling in the first place. It's supposed to be irrelevant which sex people fall in love with, but people are still soooo hang up over labels, that I think that even for a child his age people do need a label. Horrible ugggghhhh. People ask of others to be honest and open about themselves, but don't really appreciate the truth when their explanation doesn't involve a clear label. They will just call it inexperience and refuse to accept their story for what it is. If people are telling adult bisexuals or homosexuals that they just don't know what they want yet, how on earth are they going to believe a ten-year-old, whatever he says? I think that is a bigger problem than young children "just" coming out.

[smokesignal]

Haha yeah sorry for it being so long. Hadn't realized until I had already posted it and by then I wasn't going to change a single thing, except for a sentence that I had written only half of haha.

 

I'm glad you liked the stories. It's difficult to write them in a way that people actually believe it. Had to bring a friend over to that child's home once because they wouldn't believe I hadn't made him up XD

 

Anyways, I do see your point in that there is a difference between being in love (ok were talking 10-year-olds-love but you know what I mean ) and labeling and you're absolutely right. It's just that the problem here is the same, however exaggerated, as the one I have with labeling in the first place. It's supposed to be irrelevant which sex people fall in love with, but people are still soooo hang up over labels, that I think that even for a child his age people do need a label. Horrible ugggghhhh. People ask of others to be honest and open about themselves, but don't really appreciate the truth when their explanation doesn't involve a clear label. They will just call it inexperience and refuse to accept their story for what it is. If people are telling adult bisexuals or homosexuals that they just don't know what they want yet, how on earth are they going to believe a ten-year-old, whatever he says? I think that is a bigger problem than young children "just" coming out.

 

Don't worry about it being long. I didn't mean it was too long. It was well-written and a shorter post wouldn't have captured the point so well.

 

I think we agree completely. I gave the example of those children to point at the underlying problem of how much people and society like labels. I must say, personally, from a purely philosophical point of view, I would have liked Mika to never say anything about his orientation (including the bisexual statement). "I'm in a happy relationship with a man and I still refuse to be labelled" would have been a stronger statement, at least to me.

 

Having said that, I can understand how it can be liberating for him to come out, and clearly it's up to him how he presents himself. Also, it probably would have put him in a more difficult position than simply labelling himself like he did now, and the guy deserves some rest on the topic, really.

[NowTheDreamsWontDo]

@NowTheDreamsWontDo Thanks for all three stories from real life, I really liked reading them. I have never met a young boy who would act so gay, although the fact that at age 4 he knows what it means to be gay (well, more or less, anyway) shows that his parents have been talking to him about that. Actually, it sounds like Mika's Toy Boy story but with a more understanding female figure in the family and probably a happy ending, too. I think @smokesignal makes a good point that it does depend on what is meants by these kids coming outs: if it comes with a 'label' or is only about letting these kids behave as they would and be open about their love interests, although in this case it is probably advisable for parents to explain that the love interest may feel differently about that... It must be an extremely difficult issue for parents to handle, especially at such early age of the child.

 

Thank you, I really enjoy writing them as well. Just to set the record straight, so to speak, tho, he was already 8 when he started wishing for Kurt & Blaine to be gay together, not 4. I asked him immediately how he even knew that word and like you said, it was him father who had explained it to him.

 

I must confess that I laughed my guts out when you mentioned Toy Boy. He absolutely loves this song as well. Just never ever thought about how terribly ironic that is XD You are right tho... After finding not only his mother's Mistresses - but only the first season - DVDs but also an illustrated version of the poems of Sappho and a first edition of A Single Man I was certain she was bi. Never found out so might as well be true whaha.

 

Oh well back to the topic, I'm sure it much indeed be ridiculously hard to deal with these situations. The main problem, I think, is not as much people judging him for being gay, but people not believing him. From experience I can say that people tend to not take your word for it when it comes to your sexuality in the first place. Many tell you that you are too young to know in the first place, that you just don't know what you want yet. And honestly, who can blame them? Unless you have found the love of your life, how can you ever know. Ok I've already discussed this in length earlier, but really, how is a 10-year-old supposed to know? In his case it's clear as day that he is not straight, but how exactly is anyone supposed to know he's gay?

 

The terrible thing is that people have a very strong longing for labels. You are right, there is an enormous difference between giving in to your feelings and being open about them and coming out. Ideally, one should always be able to speak truthfully without being judged. Obviously this is hardly ever the case. I do think however that this has more to do with this obsessive need for labels than anything else. I mean, if this boy tells people about his feelings, they will not think "oh we'll I don't care what you are". They are going to want a label, probably assign one to him (which is never going to be bi as that is just a label for confused people and sluts) but not believe him when he does label himself. I know this sounds crazily cynical, but in essence I really do think that's the case.

[NowTheDreamsWontDo]

Don't worry about it being long. I didn't mean it was too long. It was well-written and a shorter post wouldn't have captured the point so well.

 

I think we agree completely. I gave the example of those children to point at the underlying problem of how much people and society like labels. I must say, personally, from a purely philosophical point of view, I would have liked Mika to never say anything about his orientation (including the bisexual statement). "I'm in a happy relationship with a man and I still refuse to be labelled" would have been a stronger statement, at least to me.

 

Having said that, I can understand how it can be liberating for him to come out, and clearly it's up to him how he presents himself. Also, it probably would have put him in a more difficult position than simply labelling himself like he did now, and the guy deserves some rest on the topic, really.

 

Yyyeeeees thank you someone who agreeesss XD No seriously, I suppose I'm just in an earlier state than he is, but I have been debating with me (and my parents I suppose) about what label to put on myself and what to come out as, which are again two different things, at least in my case they are. My mother asked me if I was a lesbian when I was ten (yeah really) and I just replied... You what? Lol. Ever since my whole family just assumes I am, so the easiest thing to do was just stop saying no. And you know what, I kinda did. At one time I was just so bored with the questions but also so hurt and feeling ignored and angry about this whole subject that I just asked them to shut up already and said that when I actually do fall in love, man or woman, they'll hear back from me. Not that it helped in the slightest, but at least they are introduced to the idea of me having a boyfriend once now LOL.

 

Anyways, I have always believed my sexuality too complicated to be labeled. I don't even fancy people, I fancy their brains more than anything. To have someone so amazing considering himself labelless Has always been a huge inspiration for me. Even though, I must say that it is really really tiring to have to continuously explain yourself. Therefore I can most certainly understand that it's just easier to come out and be done with it. I do sometimes. Just depends if I've got the energy to discuss it in length.

[basicamenteyo]

 

I read an article the other day about kids in the Netherlands coming out at an earlier age. Some of the children interviewed came out when they were still in elementary school. And there's such a huge difference between falling in love with someone at the age of 12 or at the age of, let's say, 16. Why put a label on yourself if you don't have to?

 

 

I don´t think there´s anything wrong if it´s people labelling themselves, you know what I mean?? What it´s disrespectful is people labelling others against their wish. If they want to announce them as gays,why not? it should be anyone´s decision...

 

It does not make sense how you want someone who says herself different and defined herself by his sexual orientation as a person can be considered normal since this person defined herself as abnormal And I would add that how a person sees only the gay community and frequently little people outside this community can be considered as normal. If people live with others and speaks with everyone there would be fewer misunderstandings and less xenophobia.

Some people are homophobic in Europe and some people are just afraid and don't understand. Some people could change their mind about homosexuality some not.

I give you an example:

My cousin had a father passionate about literature, he wrote a lot and he passed on his passion to his son. My cousin decided to become a literature professor, he also wrote many books on analysis of works of French literature. He is professor of literature's most famous high school in Paris. There is also a talented pianist, music is a family business we are all musicians at heart. He has a good and happy life, friends and for 25 years lives with the love of his life. He has a life like evrybody, a "normal life" and the love of his life is a man. His life would have been the same if the love of his life was a woman, he would have done the same job, would have had the same passions, the same friends and the same lifestyle. My cousin have 50, people was less tolerant toward homosexuality when he was young but no one considered him as abnormal even if he was not hiding from being in love with a man.

 

First part bolded: sorry, my English sucks and I don´t understand the meaning of that...

 

Second part bolded: That´s something you will never know...

 

 

My life itself was perfectly planned, I had a gorgeous future when I was 17 and then, at 18 my parents died and everything changed. I will never know how my life would have been if my parents were still here... I want to think it would had been better, but it´s something I´ll never know... same happens here with your cousin... the people we meet, the music we hear, the films we watch... EVERYTHING has an impact in our future... maybe a woman in his life would have made it worse... who knows?? but obviously everything matters and everything has something to do with our life, so, denying it makes no sense at all...

[smokesignal]

(which is never going to be bi as that is just a label for confused people and sluts)

 

Argh!!! If only we could over that one, it would be so great!

 

Yyyeeeees thank you someone who agreeesss XD No seriously, I suppose I'm just in an earlier state than he is, but I have been debating with me (and my parents I suppose) about what label to put on myself and what to come out as, which are again two different things, at least in my case they are. My mother asked me if I was a lesbian when I was ten (yeah really) and I just replied... You what? Lol. Ever since my whole family just assumes I am, so the easiest thing to do was just stop saying no. And you know what, I kinda did. At one time I was just so bored with the questions but also so hurt and feeling ignored and angry about this whole subject that I just asked them to shut up already and said that when I actually do fall in love, man or woman, they'll hear back from me. Not that it helped in the slightest, but at least they are introduced to the idea of me having a boyfriend once now LOL.

 

Anyways, I have always believed my sexuality too complicated to be labeled. I don't even fancy people, I fancy their brains more than anything. To have someone so amazing considering himself labelless Has always been a huge inspiration for me. Even though, I must say that it is really really tiring to have to continuously explain yourself. Therefore I can most certainly understand that it's just easier to come out and be done with it. I do sometimes. Just depends if I've got the energy to discuss it in length.

 

In that light, someone putting a 'can't even think straight' sticker on your computer is kind of nasty. Good luck with all that though. Even though it sounds like you have found a good way to handle your environment, it must be frustrating at times.

[NowTheDreamsWontDo]

Argh!!! If only we could over that one, it would be so great!

 

 

 

In that light, someone putting a 'can't even think straight' sticker on your computer is kind of nasty. Good luck with all that though. Even though it sounds like you have found a good way to handle your environment, it must be frustrating at times.

 

Thank you, you're sweet. But honestly, that sticker is only there because I've said it myself about a biiillllioon times. Besides, I've done worse to her hihi. Nah, my mum is the only one who would get the joke to begin with and she knows about my gay jokes that started when people at school made up a rumour that me and my best girlfriend were a couple and we only denied it to the people who mattered. To the one who made it up we acted like a couple whaha. Oh good old days. Never actually stopped, come to think about it LOL.