Bullying

[mari62]

I always thought that as long as you follow the discussion you can never be offensive. On a forum you never speak directly to a person, but with what he writes, and what he writes in that exact moment, it is not a physical entity, is only one idea, an opinion. Discuss "ideas", even in a strong way, it can only be positive. If I get angry during a discussion of this kind, I can never really be angry with that person, as in my real life does not exist, exists only at that time and for that topic. To me this is incomprehensible charges of aggression. Personally I never do that with anyone, I just discuss...

I think the point is, that the same words can be perceived and felt in different ways by different people

[mellody]

I always thought that as long as you follow the discussion you can never be offensive. On a forum you never speak directly to a person, but with what he writes, and what he writes in that exact moment, it is not a physical entity, is only one idea, an opinion. Discuss "ideas", even in a strong way, it can only be positive. If I get angry during a discussion of this kind, I can never really be angry with that person, as in my real life does not exist, exists only at that time and for that topic. To me this is incomprehensible charges of aggression. Personally I never do that with anyone, I just discuss...

 

that's an interesting point of view. personally, i can't completely separate discussions on the internet from discussions in real life, since i know many MFCers personally from meeting them at gigs, and talking with them on the internet is not much different to me than talking with them on the phone, or even in real life when we meet. so i would be lying if i said there aren't any real emotions involved when i have heated discussions on here. and like in real life - or maybe even more than in real life, because mostly i have more time to think when writing something than when talking - i try to take care that i don't hurt anyone with the things i say/write. you're definitely right that no one should get aggressive, just because they're angry about something someone else wrote.

Edited July 11, 2013 by mellody

[Christine]

personally, i can't completely separate discussions on the internet from discussions real life, since i know many MFCers personally from meeting them at gigs, and talking with them on the internet is not much different to me than talking with them on the phone, or even in real life when we meet. so i would be lying if i said there aren't any real emotions involved when i have heated discussions on here.

 

Yes I think the most heated discussions involve real life issues. I think it becomes difficult when you have people who are newer or more casual participants having a different discussion than people who've known each other for years.

[crazyaboutmika]

Reading back and loving this thread and all of you guys who posted here

Do we have a Star Trek thread here ?

I'm a trekkie too so that was really great to read especially the idea of being beamed up from gig to gig

[silver]

Reading back and loving this thread and all of you guys who posted here

Do we have a Star Trek thread here ?

I'm a trekkie too so that was really great to read especially the idea of being beamed up from gig to gig

 

Of course there is a Star Trek thread, Anne http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18632&highlight=Star+Trek

[crazyaboutmika]

Of course there is a Star Trek thread, Anne http://www.mikafanclub.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18632&highlight=Star+Trek

I should have found it long ago

Is there anything MFC doesn't have a thread for?

Thanks a lot Silver

Beaming myself there with my right now

[suzie]

I love when new fans join! Okay, now this is the sort of thing that almost made me leave a while back. People taking what I say, the wrong way. when I say "ambassadors of Mika", what I mean is that what we say on the forums reflects back onto Mika. Ambassador means, representative and whether we like it or not, we're representatives of his because we are his fanclub. I was simply meaning that we should be careful what we say It is NOT that I agree with everything he does, because I don't, and just because I joined in 2007, I don't think myself better than fans who joined last week. I'm excited when new fans join because it means more people are getting to know Mika, and what upsets me most on here is, people who have read my posts for years, should know that I'm fair, honest and kind, because they should know me by now.

Actually now I'm getting this off my chest, I might as well say that I've found the newer fans to be much more appreciative of my posts than the older ones. Some newer fans have said I'm really wise in what I write, and that my posts are insightful and balanced.

I used to go onto the Oldlings thread, but hardly anyone ever replied to me. I tried more than once, but in the end, gave up on it. Everyone on the thread was talking amongst themselves and not including me, so no, I don't go on there now, even though I'm one of the oldest people on this forum.

So no, I don't think I should have special treatment because I'm an older fan. I don't think I'm better than anyone else, and I don't always agree with Mika, but I do support him in his choices, but don't expect others to do the same if they don't want to. If that doesn't suit, then I really will leave, but I'd never say I was bullied. I'd just be sad that after all this time, no one has really got to know me, even though I've been on almost every day since 2007.

 

@Marilyn I knew you'd respond to my post but I did not have tme to check, earlier, sorry. I think people who are often on the forum know you pretty well since you post a lot. Forum posts do not give a full picture of anyone, of course, only to the extent one can express themselves and what they choose reveal. Based on those, you are a very honest and caring person and your dedication to Mika is unquestionalble. However, that may not be common ground for another person to engage in a lengthy conversation with you. I am only mentioning this as it is one typical comment I have read a few times that some people feel 'excluded' from certain conversation groups on a forum. In my view, it does take time for an established group to take in new members in real life as well and it may never even happen as they are not 'on the same wavelength'. This just can't be forced, so the best one can do is talk to others who do listen. ( I think it is safe for me to say this without offending you as I do respond to your posts a lot)

 

On your comment that you don't feel yourself a better fan just because you joined in 2007, it sounds as if others in the forum do and THEY MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT. Older members referring to the original forum times and talks, the expectations in the early days driving different types of people to the forum or referring to way Mika was behaving at the beginning does not mean that they think they are better than others. They are simply explaining the original feel to the Mika phenomena, what he originally stood for and the early forum talks. Explaining it any differently is misinterpretation so I always 'correct' with respect, that new members are treated as equal here and if they feel excluded or offended by 'older' members reminiscing about the past, it really is just the green-eyed monster striking - and I have seen that a lot here.

 

In other words and in general, if one feels excluded from one thread, just try another or even better: talk to people in real life, whether they are fans at gigs or people who may not even have heard of Mika. MFC is just a forum that can't take responsibility for people's real life problems.

Edited July 14, 2013 by suzie

[celebrate]

Hey i will rarely post on fourms but this artical came to my full atention please remember we all love mika and he does not like it when we bully eachother we dont have to be bffs but we do have to respect one another i have ocdc traits and dislexya alike mika but am i a bad person no way and for those of you who are getting bullied im soooo sorry u had to go through that :-( but just know that karma will get them in the end and here are my words of wizdom for today treat others the way you wish to be treated unless you want to be bullied dont bully

And for those of you who took a stand for your peers keep up the good work:thumb_yello:

[Alireine]

Hey i will rarely post on fourms but this artical came to my full atention please remember we all love mika and he does not like it when we bully eachother we dont have to be bffs but we do have to respect one another i have ocdc traits and dislexya alike mika but am i a bad person no way and for those of you who are getting bullied im soooo sorry u had to go through that :-( but just know that karma will get them in the end and here are my words of wizdom for today treat others the way you wish to be treated unless you want to be bullied dont bully

And for those of you who took a stand for your peers keep up the good work:thumb_yello:

 

[Maru]

OMG. The more I know about Mika, the more I love him. He's a public figure, and he knows the responsibility it takes, so... he uses it. He's the kind of people that the world needs.

Edited June 6, 2019 by Maru

[Mikasister]

6 hours ago, Maru said:

OMG. The more I know about Mika, the more I love him. He's a public figure, and he knows the responsibility it takes, so... he uses it. He's the kind of people that the world needs.

 

 

Hello @Maru and welcome to the MFC. If you like you can introduce yourself here https://www.mikafanclub.com/forum/5-introductions/ and tell us more about you and how you discover Mika. 

[Irem Aytepe]

Can we talk about bully stories in here? I found this thread new

[cat_loves_mika]

On 6/6/2019 at 5:04 PM, Irem Aytepe said:

Can we talk about bully stories in here? I found this thread new

 

Hey there

 

I would suggest talking about a personal story in a thread under General Chat, maybe a Member's Only thread so not just anyone on the internet can read it.  This section of the forum is for things pertaining to MFC specifically so we can move a conversation like that elsewhere very easily! Just pick a thread, honestly. The Oldlings are very chatty, but that doesn't mean you can't post on any other thread and someone won't reply, lol.

[Maru]

On 6/6/2019 at 5:49 PM, Mikasister said:

 

 

Hello @Maru and welcome to the MFC. If you like you can introduce yourself here https://www.mikafanclub.com/forum/5-introductions/ and tell us more about you and how you discover Mika. 

Oh, I'll do it for sure! I hope today I'll have the time. Thank you very much!

[mellody]

On 6/6/2019 at 11:04 PM, Irem Aytepe said:

Can we talk about bully stories in here? I found this thread new

 

There was another thread about bullying, where members posted their personal stories - it was somewhere in the chat or members only section, but no idea if it's still there. Anyway this thread is about the specific problem adressed in the first post.