Bullying

[dcdeb]

What a very well-written and thoughtful post! Wow. Thanks. I just want to make one or two comments.

 

Gently teasing comments can so easily be interpreted the wrong way, and it's virtually impossible to tell if somebody is getting upset.

 

So true. And sarcasm doesn't really translate over the internet, either. It's difficult, both from a reader's standpoint and from that of the writer, too. You don't want to have to censor everything you write, but you do need to consider the audience, I think.

 

It's very sad that mika has pointed towards his fan base as a culprit of cyberbullying. Call me naive, but I have never experienced or seen cyberbullying take place on the MFC, despite being involved in some of those 'heated discussions' people are mentioning. I class these discussions as debates rather than bullying, and find it important not to get too emotionally involved in the arguments. Then again, the line between fierce debate and upsetting people can so easily become blurred online. So everybody, just be careful! Cyberbullying is a very nasty thing ,so don't let Mika or anyone else think that the MFC are involved in it. If you are in any doubt that a post might cause offence, it's probably best to err on the side of caution and not post it at all.

 

I don't think that Mika considers the MFC as the source of the bullying, just some of his so-called fans. If anything, MFC and MFCers have been the targets.

 

I used to go onto the Oldlings thread, but hardly anyone ever replied to me. I tried more than once, but in the end, gave up on it. Everyone on the thread was talking amongst themselves and not including me, so no, I don't go on there now, even though I'm one of the oldest people on this forum.

 

That's a difficult scenario, and one I've had complaints about before. The thing is, especially on very active threads, or threads where a group of fans have sort of established their own group, it's not unusual for posts to get lost or overlooked. I know myself, there are many posts that I read that I'd like to reply to, but I don't have the time. And on very busy threads, I'm sorry, but I just can't read every single post, so some do get overlooked. That's not an intentional snub. So I think this is a case where you have to choose not to take it personally, and just assume that your posts weren't answered because simply because they were lost in the crowd, not because everyone reading them hated what you had to say.

 

Kind of the opposite of that is when your posts get TOO MUCH attention -- you know, you write something and it seems like everyone has something to say about it. You may feel ganged up on. I've seen that before, too, and I can sort of understand -- particularly if you're taking an unpopular position, it seems that everyone and her sister wants to tell you how wrong you are. I see how that might be perceived as bullying in some cases... just another thing that we all need to be aware of when we post, I guess. I know I personally often don't put my two cents in if I've seen others have expressed a similar opinion as mine -- I don't feel the need to "pile on." But that's just me.

 

So no, I don't think I should have special treatment because I'm an older fan. I don't think I'm better than anyone else, and I don't always agree with Mika, but I do support him in his choices, but don't expect others to do the same if they don't want to. If that doesn't suit, then I really will leave, but I'd never say I was bullied. I'd just be sad that after all this time, no one has really got to know me, even though I've been on almost every day since 2007.

 

Well, that would be sad, I agree. And I don't think anyone wants anyone to leave just because they have a different viewpoint. Even if I don't exchange messages with you every day, I would say I have a pretty good sense of who you are, Marilyn. I think with several hundred active members here, it's hard for all of us to really know everyone, but as you say, people who have been around since 2007 are at least familiar with each other... I'd like to think that we were all on pretty good terms, too.

[Laurel]

I wish I'd been here in 2007 but I was too busy following Franz Ferdinand around the country to notice a curly haired singer ... my bad

[tiibet]

As Nina mentioned in the head of the discussion I may have said the ass-licking thing but I apologised for that as it was not my intention and if necessary I will apologise again. At that point I was attacked from many sides on twitter plus the discussion here and it became too much. It wasn't about anyone in particular. I never intented to insult anyone and anyone who knows me here will know I can be quite outspoken. I would never insult anyone on purpose and Nina I hope you know that. I am not afraid to admit my mistakes.

 

 

But bullying is more than just saying something once. It went on for months, years even. We were called names every single day. Stalked every single day. Yes MFC has heated discussions and sonetimes things are said that we regret later. But I have never seen bullying on MFC. All the drama was on Twitter, youtube etc.

 

Ingie, I really don't even connect that ass licking discussion to you It was just an example of an discussion happened lately. And I also wanted to make clear in my previous post that I haven't seen any bullying on MFC. Yes, the whole drama was on twitter. I hope (and think) Mika is aware of it too.

[Lucrezia]

Unfortunately i'm not on MFC from the 2007 because I didn't know of its existence and then I was not very good in English. But when I joined, I was greeted by people so friendly and helpful with me that made ​​me feel immediately at ease

Honestly, I feel like I'm at home here and so comfortable. I've ever seen here phenomena of cyberbullying or abuse of power from someone on other people...yeah There has been some discussion but because everyone expresses his opinion ... we are in a forum and there are many people, all different one from the other, which may have different ideas. But everything was done always in complete education and no one has ever offended.

 

Unfortunately, this can not be said for other social networks where I have been insulted and threatened just because I expressed my opinion or just replied to Mika as happened yesterday afternoon (I had reached the point of being afraid to go to concerts abroad for fear of encountering these people)... it is normal that I, being a very shy and reserved person, I was bad about it ... I do not understand what's the problem with me.

But, at the end, I thought that more you notice these people more they feel important, so I've learned to ignore any message that they send to me or they send to mika quoting me saying that i'm a dumb or worst...

 

I just hope that all this will finish soon so we can continue our life in freedom being able to write our own opinions.

[guylainem123]

Unfortunately i'm not on MFC from the 2007 because I didn't know of its existence and then I was not very good in English. But when I joined, I was greeted by people so friendly and helpful with me that made ​​me feel immediately at ease

Honestly, I feel like I'm at home here and so comfortable. I've ever seen here phenomena of cyberbullying or abuse of power from someone on other people...yeah There has been some discussion but because everyone expresses his opinion ... we are in a forum and there are many people, all different one from the other, which may have different ideas. But everything was done always in complete education and no one has ever offended.

 

Unfortunately, this can not be said for other social networks where I have been insulted and threatened just because I expressed my opinion or just replied to Mika as happened yesterday afternoon (I had reached the point of being afraid to go to concerts abroad for fear of encountering these people)... it is normal that I, being a very shy and reserved person, I was bad about it ... I do not understand what's the problem with me.

But, at the end, I thought that more you notice these people more they feel important, so I've learned to ignore any message that they send to me or they send to mika quoting me saying that i'm a dumb or worst...

 

I just hope that all this will finish soon so we can continue our life in freedom being able to write our own opinions.

 

yes, i saw/read what was being told to you yesterday... i had to read it a few times to make sense of what was being said. Some people don't know the meaning of 140 characters & it was just a confused mess when i was reading. I felt sorry for you

 

This person who replied to you in 5 tweets seems to always be lurking in everyone's conversation and stick her nose everywhere. I've seen her jump in a conversation where 2 other people were saying something about psychotic & she assumed they were speaking about her She jumped down their throat like she constantly does. I've blocked her for jumping on me, from different accounts too. If you need to know the names of her other accounts, let me know, i'll pm them to you. Let's just say they are friends who always agree with her

[Christine]

I'd just be sad that after all this time, no one has really got to know me, even though I've been on almost every day since 2007.

 

Aw I'm sorry you feel that way Marilyn.

 

Even if we don't have a close personal relationship I feel like I've gotten to know you pretty well and enjoy your humour and always look forward to your gig reports because I know you can't get to see Mika as often as many others.

 

In the beginning MFC was so massive and busy you really had to find some people to connect with in a social group or two and it was not easy. I remember seeing people with 5000 posts and I would have no idea who they were. Someone suggested I become a mod and I hadn't even considered it because I knew so little about the dynamics of MFC I didn't even know who the other mods were!

 

Now that it's quieter and people have developed relationships in real life I think a lot of the socializing goes on on Twitter and Facebook. I know that doesn't interest some people but it's just the reality in 2013.

 

Anyway I'm glad you stuck around and you definitely belong here as far as I'm concerned.

 

Yes, the whole drama was on twitter. I hope (and think) Mika is aware of it too.

 

Yes if there was that kind of name calling on MFC obviously we would deal with it ourselves. That kind of thing has never ever been permitted here.

 

And just so everyone knows this was not an episode of drama on Twitter. It has been an ongoing campaign and the people who are targets have been trying to ignore it for a very long time. There were dozens and dozens of posts on YouTube and websites like Huffington Post, Perez Hilton, etc. starting last summer about us assaulting women and bullying children on MFC. Not only was this unprovoked, but we did not respond to it. It wasn't "a drama". It was one person who hadn't had any contact with us for years going on a rampage.

 

There was some drama over the past couple of weeks because people finally started discussing it openly on Twitter since ignoring it and hoping it would go away was not working. Unfortunately when that happens all kinds of troublemakers smell blood, open up fake accounts and jump into the fray. I'm sure some people saw it as Kodes being unfairly attacked and ganged up on but we were not involved in that and tried to shut it down by reporting the accounts for spam.

 

We don't want drama. We just want people to stop harassing members of MFC with no provocation. Unfortunately some people believe that reading things about Mika that they don't agree with is provocation and a license to call people names and make up stories about them.

[Littlelady]

I'm also not here from the begining( but I liked Mika since 2007) because I thought that fan thing could be so worthwhile for a woman in my age. But in 2010 I made the trial and registered me here, I'm not so active like other members but I can't say something negative. No-one was unfriendly or bullied me. Thanks for it:huglove:... And we don't need it here. ( hope the link will work, shared taht on my FB site)

 

https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/1016496_397500443700158_2017590562_n.jpg

[willywonka]

.

 

Awwwww, marylin, i love you... and even though we dont talk much i follow all your posts here, specially the naughty poems in Wonkaland...

[IngievV]

I am not on here as much as I used to when I was younger. I am still grateful for MFC and all the people I've met here. It has always been my home away from home.

[dcdeb]

 

We don't want drama. We just want people to stop harassing members of MFC with no provocation.

\

 

And that's it in a nutshell.

 

Mika's Facebook post went a long way in helping us reach that goal. I hope!

[Lucrezia]

yes, i saw/read what was being told to you yesterday... i had to read it a few times to make sense of what was being said. Some people don't know the meaning of 140 characters & it was just a confused mess when i was reading. I felt sorry for you

 

This person who replied to you in 5 tweets seems to always be lurking in everyone's conversation and stick her nose everywhere. I've seen her jump in a conversation where 2 other people were saying something about psychotic & she assumed they were speaking about her She jumped down their throat like she constantly does. I've blocked her for jumping on me, from different accounts too. If you need to know the names of her other accounts, let me know, i'll pm them to you. Let's just say they are friends who always agree with her

 

Thank you Guy You're very sweet.

 

I would be grateful if you'll pm me (here or on twitter if you want) the name of the other account so that I can block it like I did with the other one, thus that person can not see what I write.

[Christine]

I would be grateful if you'll pm me (here or on twitter if you want) the name of the other account so that I can block it like I did with the other one, thus that person can not see what I write.

 

Unfortunately blocking people does not prevent them from reading your tweets.

 

That is the main problem with Twitter. Once this started to escalate I protected my account so my tweets were only visible to my followers. Sadly even this did not help since these people stalk the tweets of everyone who speaks to me and start harassing these people too, including members of my family.

[Ellenowl]

I think it's great that on the MFC we can actually express our opinions and not just passively agree with Mika and each other all the time. Obviously the forum is a great way to keep up with mikanews, but it's so much more than that! It's fascinating to hear from other people all around the globe whether talking about Mika or something completely unrelated.

 

Hopefully this thread can calm some of the MFC 'haters' (I don't wanna be provocative by using this word) down, and make them realise that the main thing that groups us all together in the first place is fandom of Mika himself. Whether Mika's fans love or hate the MFC, it's in everyone's best interests to keep it peaceful, even if it's just for Mika's sake. A similar thread (with the help of some subtly-phrased tweets)managed to get Kodes100 to post nice things about Mika on YouTube, rather than nasty things about the MFC, which I am so pleased about. Maybe we could try a similar tactic for others.

[Sabine64]

I love when new fans join! Okay, now this is the sort of thing that almost made me leave a while back. People taking what I say, the wrong way. when I say "ambassadors of Mika", what I mean is that what we say on the forums reflects back onto Mika. Ambassador means, representative and whether we like it or not, we're representatives of his because we are his fanclub. I was simply meaning that we should be careful what we say It is NOT that I agree with everything he does, because I don't, and just because I joined in 2007, I don't think myself better than fans who joined last week. I'm excited when new fans join because it means more people are getting to know Mika, and what upsets me most on here is, people who have read my posts for years, should know that I'm fair, honest and kind, because they should know me by now.

Actually now I'm getting this off my chest, I might as well say that I've found the newer fans to be much more appreciative of my posts than the older ones. Some newer fans have said I'm really wise in what I write, and that my posts are insightful and balanced.

I used to go onto the Oldlings thread, but hardly anyone ever replied to me. I tried more than once, but in the end, gave up on it. Everyone on the thread was talking amongst themselves and not including me, so no, I don't go on there now, even though I'm one of the oldest people on this forum.

So no, I don't think I should have special treatment because I'm an older fan. I don't think I'm better than anyone else, and I don't always agree with Mika, but I do support him in his choices, but don't expect others to do the same if they don't want to. If that doesn't suit, then I really will leave, but I'd never say I was bullied. I'd just be sad that after all this time, no one has really got to know me, even though I've been on almost every day since 2007.

 

Marilyn, I´m so sorry that we obviously have overseen you at the Oldlings because we are always happy to speak with all who come there.

 

 

Unfortunately i'm not on MFC from the 2007 because I didn't know of its existence and then I was not very good in English. But when I joined, I was greeted by people so friendly and helpful with me that made ​​me feel immediately at ease

Honestly, I feel like I'm at home here and so comfortable. I've ever seen here phenomena of cyberbullying or abuse of power from someone on other people...yeah There has been some discussion but because everyone expresses his opinion ... we are in a forum and there are many people, all different one from the other, which may have different ideas. But everything was done always in complete education and no one has ever offended.

 

Unfortunately, this can not be said for other social networks where I have been insulted and threatened just because I expressed my opinion or just replied to Mika as happened yesterday afternoon (I had reached the point of being afraid to go to concerts abroad for fear of encountering these people)... it is normal that I, being a very shy and reserved person, I was bad about it ... I do not understand what's the problem with me.

But, at the end, I thought that more you notice these people more they feel important, so I've learned to ignore any message that they send to me or they send to mika quoting me saying that i'm a dumb or worst...

 

I just hope that all this will finish soon so we can continue our life in freedom being able to write our own opinions.

 

I already wanted to DM you because I read Twitter yesterday and i couldn´t understand what was said about you. I know it´s not so easy to ignore these people but it´s the only thing we can do.

 

 

 

Btw, I got Tweets with insults from a certain person every time I tweeted Deb or Christine, maybe I still get Tweets but I will never see them again since I blocked that person.

[crazyaboutmika]

My two cents:

 

It's swings and roundabouts on the MFC. Not because of any bullying (which I've never seen, read, or experienced) but because we are a fan forum with passionate opinions, which are often, polar-opposites of someone else's opinion.

For example: A while back we had those discussions about Mika in X Factor Italy. Some with valid disappointment that the rebel who sang GK, had gone into a reality TV talent show

some, like me, had the opinion that he can do what he likes to get himself back on top where he belongs.

So we had discussions that got quite heated, and I must admit, I did start to think MFC was not the place it used to be. But now I'm glad I stuck around, because once the dust settled on the discussion and we saw, and heard, why Mika took the decision he did, I believe we all started to enjoy his X Factor experience, no matter what we may have felt at first.

But things like that do happen in any fan community. I've been in fan clubs in the past, usually about TV shows like Star Trek, and fans get heated about that as well. Even though Star Trek isn't even real!

So there will be times when we disagree, but even when we do, it happens because we all want the best for Mika. We just, maybe, have different ideas about how he should manage his career, and because our feelings for him are so strong, we might say something that upsets someone else.

I think that's probably what has happened, in the case of some of the people causing trouble.

But the only one who really upsets me, is B27 on twitter. KODES100 often posts Mika videos on the timeline, so he or she is acting like a fan and may just have had an experience on MFC, that he or she felt was bad. But B27 is twisted and evil, only going on twitter to continually slag us off and call us terrible names, even though there is no call for he or she to do so!

So that's my opinion. I really hope, for Mika's sake, it can all be resolved eventually.

So good for Mika for getting involved, even though it's a shame he had to.

 

I agree with you a hundred percent Marilyn :thumb_yello:

[crazyaboutmika]

Thank you Guy You're very sweet.

 

I would be grateful if you'll pm me (here or on twitter if you want) the name of the other account so that I can block it like I did with the other one, thus that person can not see what I write.

I'm so sorry about that Lucrezia I hope the troll will get tired of bugging true Mika fans

This is so unfair

Beirut was even polluting the livestream of Mika in Madrid...but no one bothered to answer which is a great thing

[Lucrezia]

Unfortunately blocking people does not prevent them from reading your tweets.

 

That is the main problem with Twitter. Once this started to escalate I protected my account so my tweets were only visible to my followers. Sadly even this did not help since these people stalk the tweets of everyone who speaks to me and start harassing these people too, including members of my family.

 

Oh I should put my account private but as you say, I would solve nothing.

 

I already wanted to DM you because I read Twitter yesterday and i couldn´t understand what was said about you. I know it´s not so easy to ignore these people but it´s the only thing we can do.

 

Oh it was just a lot of stupid things.... It's hard not reply and ignore all but it's the only thing that we can do.

[crazyaboutmika]

I love when new fans join! Okay, now this is the sort of thing that almost made me leave a while back. People taking what I say, the wrong way. when I say "ambassadors of Mika", what I mean is that what we say on the forums reflects back onto Mika. Ambassador means, representative and whether we like it or not, we're representatives of his because we are his fanclub. I was simply meaning that we should be careful what we say It is NOT that I agree with everything he does, because I don't, and just because I joined in 2007, I don't think myself better than fans who joined last week. I'm excited when new fans join because it means more people are getting to know Mika, and what upsets me most on here is, people who have read my posts for years, should know that I'm fair, honest and kind, because they should know me by now.

Actually now I'm getting this off my chest, I might as well say that I've found the newer fans to be much more appreciative of my posts than the older ones. Some newer fans have said I'm really wise in what I write, and that my posts are insightful and balanced.

I used to go onto the Oldlings thread, but hardly anyone ever replied to me. I tried more than once, but in the end, gave up on it. Everyone on the thread was talking amongst themselves and not including me, so no, I don't go on there now, even though I'm one of the oldest people on this forum.

So no, I don't think I should have special treatment because I'm an older fan. I don't think I'm better than anyone else, and I don't always agree with Mika, but I do support him in his choices, but don't expect others to do the same if they don't want to. If that doesn't suit, then I really will leave, but I'd never say I was bullied. I'd just be sad that after all this time, no one has really got to know me, even though I've been on almost every day since 2007.

aww Marilyn I know you have a great sense of humor for sure I loved your funny witty poems There's one thing to know about the goldings thread is that because we are on it and also threads hoping and also because we quote a lot it may seem that people don't answer but they always do only it can be a few pages later if there are many people posting so that creates a jet lag type of thing . You should try it again Have a good week end

[crazyaboutmika]

Oh I should put my account private but as you say, I would solve nothing.

 

 

 

Oh it was just a lot of stupid things.... It's hard not reply and ignore all but it's the only thing that we can do.

Yes ignoring them is the only way to get rid of them, all they want is attention and if they don't get it they calm down by themselves

[Mikalover14]

I saw that post and it really made me think of how much he really likes his fans.... thank you!!!

[dcdeb]

Yes, the problem with making your Twitter account private is that people who don't follow you don't see your tweets... and we all want Mika to see what we tweet to him! So difficult. But I believe that ignoring the haters is the best policy. They crave attention and when you don't give it to them they eventually have to give up and move on!

[guylainem123]

Yes, the problem with making your Twitter account private is that people who don't follow you don't see your tweets... and we all want Mika to see what we tweet to him! So difficult. But I believe that ignoring the haters is the best policy. They crave attention and when you don't give it to them they eventually have to give up and move on!

 

yes, except this time, they weren't moving on

[Marilyn Mastin]

I would like to thank everyone for their supportive comments. Thank you very much.

I was just feeling upset that anyone might think that because I've been here a long while, I might not see anyone new as being as much of a fan as someone who came from the GK days.

I do see everyone on the forum as exactly the same as anyone else. The new fans are great as they've often come from places, like the USA, where we long for Mika to make his mark, and all of the people who come from far flung places like Korea, are proof he's making his mark all over the world.

What's been said to me about the Oldlings thread is also true. It does move very quickly, and so I do understand that posts may get overlooked. I may give it another try.

Once again, thank you all for showing some Mika-love to me. I'm touched, and very grateful.

Mika-love to you all.

[ilseh1983]

Yes, the problem with making your Twitter account private is that people who don't follow you don't see your tweets... and we all want Mika to see what we tweet to him! So difficult. But I believe that ignoring the haters is the best policy. They crave attention and when you don't give it to them they eventually have to give up and move on!

 

that's kinda why i have a second non private account

to tweet mika, and the private one to talk to other fans and tweet nonsense

[guylainem123]

I would like to thank everyone for their supportive comments. Thank you very much.

I was just feeling upset that anyone might think that because I've been here a long while, I might not see anyone new as being as much of a fan as someone who came from the GK days.

I do see everyone on the forum as exactly the same as anyone else. The new fans are great as they've often come from places, like the USA, where we long for Mika to make his mark, and all of the people who come from far flung places like Korea, are proof he's making his mark all over the world.

What's been said to me about the Oldlings thread is also true. It does move very quickly, and so I do understand that posts may get overlooked. I may give it another try.

Once again, thank you all for showing some Mika-love to me. I'm touched, and very grateful.

Mika-love to you all.

 

i always read your posts Marilyn, i just don't comment all the time.

Even if i visit the oldlings thread on a regular basis, i'm unable to follow their everyday conversation since becoming a mod in january 2009. Though i do notice they still decorate their threads with nice Mika pics